


Monday to Monday

by helenmaldon



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Fantasy, Friendship, M/M, References to Abuse, References to Drugs, References to Sex, Romance, Workplace Relationship, references to violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 08:12:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10849983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helenmaldon/pseuds/helenmaldon
Summary: Sho is a bored executive. Nino is an IT guy with a secret.





	1. Chapter 1

“Thank you for coming, uh…” Sho peered uncertainly at the man’s name badge, “Mi…no…miya-san?” he faltered.

The small man in front of him stared back at him quizzically before seeming to recall something with a roll of his eyes. He tapped his badge and replied, “It’s Ninomiya-san.” He brushed past Sho on his way to the computer.

“It’s been a while since anyone new started,” he mumbled, eyes already focused intently on the screen, “I forgot that it’s wrong.”

Sho stared at the young man’s pale profile, caught by Ninomiya-san’s slightly up-turned nose. It reminded him of a puppy he’d had when he was younger. “How long has your badge had the wrong name?”

Ninomiya-san shrugged, continuing to type furiously. “Since I stared here six months ago. I called them about it a couple of times, but they never responded. Too low on their list of priorities, I guess.” 

“Er…isn’t that some kind of a security issue?” Sho wondered, not exactly sure what he was saying anymore. He’d become too distracted by the serious expression of Ninomiya-san’s dark eyes as he worked. And the contrast between Ninomiya-san’s pale skin and dark hair at his nape.

Ninomiya-san let out a small bark of laughter. “Believe me, Sakurai-san,” he murmured as he continued to work, “if I’d wanted to shut this place down, I would have done it five months and two weeks ago.”

“That’s not what I…”

Ninomiya-san hit the enter key decisively. “Okay, I’ve created your account. Sit down and I’ll show you how the system works,” he ordered.

Sho sat down meekly in the chair Ninomiya had indicated and then (mostly) pretended to pay attention while Ninomiya took him through the company’s systems; Sho found the small mole on Ninomiya’s chin and the way his upper lip curled when he spoke too distracting.

“So you got that, Sakurai-san?” Ninomiya demanded as he turned to face him suddenly, his eyes twinkling as if he knew that Sho hadn’t heard a word of his lecture.

“Uh yeah, I think so.”

“Good,” Nino straightened and assumed the formal yet pained air of a saint. “Now, before you decide to call the IT department again in future, I want you to remember to always ask yourself two very important questions first.” Nino raised his small, surprisingly chubby hands to enumerate the two very important questions. “One, is this computer plugged in? Two, have I tried turning it on and off again? If the answer to one or both of these questions is no, please take the appropriate measures before consulting technical services.”

Sho couldn’t help but feel insulted. “I’m not that much of an idiot,” he protested.

Ninomiya-san smirked, and Sho felt a strange throb in his chest. “That’s what all the executives say. See you later, Sakurai-san.”

 

*

 

It was Sho’s first day as a managing executive. He wasn’t sure what a managing executive was, exactly. He just knew that since getting a job at Android, Ltd. after college (it was supposed to be a temporary thing) he’d kept getting promoted until here he was, sitting behind a desk in a corner office. It wasn’t that he disliked the work, but as far as he could tell, it just involved taking money from one place and then putting it somewhere else, and then making long speeches about company objectives at meetings with other executives. And conference calls. Lots of conference calls.

But it made his parents happy, and everyone around him insisted that he was “right for the job” and “looked like a winner,” so maybe it was what he was supposed to be doing.

If only they could see him now, he thought, jumping to his feet as he spilled some of his warmed-up soup onto his lap. “Shit!” Now Matsumoto-san would see the stain on his pants.

He was right. As soon as Matsumoto-san swept into his office for their post-lunch meeting (and Matsumoto-san definitely swept into a room), his eyes flew immediately to Sho’s crotch, his lips curling with disgust.

Matsumoto-san was the most terrifying (and strongly-featured) junior executive that Sho had ever met. Apparently, he’d been hoping for Sho’s job, and since the two men had met this morning Matsumoto had made his deep displeasure with Sho clear. “If you’re finished, Sakurai-san,” he said coldly, “the directors are waiting.”

On their way to the meeting, Sho and Matsumoto passed Ninomiya in the hallway. Ninomiya was carrying a cup of noodles in one hand. “Hey Jun,” he smirked.

Jun rolled his eyes and gestured back towards Sho as if to say, Can you believe this guy?

Ninomiya spotted the stain on Sho’s crotch and his smirk turned into a genuine grin. He gave Sho a thumb’s up. “Not that much of an idiot, huh?” he smiled.

 

*

 

Before he left the office that night, Sho called security and asked them to issue Ninomiya-san a new, correct name badge.

 

*

 

The next time Sho saw Ninomiya, it wasn’t at the office (not that he’d been looking forward to seeing him again, or anything, he reminded himself). It was at the convenience store near his apartment. Ninomiya was standing in front of the magazine rack, flipping through what looked to Sho like a gaming magazine. He had a basket in one arm, filled to the brim with cup of noodles and several packages of dog biscuits.

“Ninomiya-san?”

The slender man started, almost dropping his basket in the process. “Shit, you really know how to sneak up on people, Sakurai-san,” he growled, looking even paler than Sho remembered as he turned towards him.

Sho felt nettled. He’d approached him with a completely reasonable level of noise, he was sure. Ninomiya suddenly laughed, as though he’d read Sho’s mind. To his own surprise, Sho responded by bowing slightly and said, “Please call me Sho,” the words coming out more stiffly than he’d intended. Why did his face feel hot?

Eyes still dancing but with a straight face, Ninomiya mimicked Sho’s bow, “Then please call me Nino. And please take care of me at work from now on.”

Sho smiled shyly, and Nino grinned. “But I guess you’ve already been doing that. Did you track me down to get a thank you?”

Sho looked confused, so Nino pointed to the security badge that was still hanging around his neck. “You got them to fix my name, right?” he asked curiously, suddenly averting his eyes and turning slightly pink as he spoke.

Sho shrugged as if he wasn’t sure himself. He felt oddly tongue-tied by the expression on Nino’s face. His eyes lighted on Nino’s shopping basket, and he said the first thing that came to his mind, “You have a dog?”

Nino turned away, sweeping a pile of magazines on top of his basket. “It’s for a friend,” he replied. Without meeting Sho’s eyes, he mumbled, “See you at the office,” and headed for the counter.

Feeling as though he’d offended Nino but not knowing how, Sho sulked behind the condensed soup aisle, peering over the top of the shelf at Nino as he checked out. Nino was talking energetically to the tanned, sleepy-looking clerk who seemed to never leave the store; the clerk murmured something in return and Nino burst out laughing, bringing up the back of his hand to cover his wide smile while he shook with laughter, his slight hunch becoming even more pronounced.

Sho rested his head against a package of ramen noodles and sighed, feeling something flip inside his chest as he watched through the convenience store window as Nino mounted and rode away on a wrecked-looking yellow bicycle.

 

*

 

That night, Sho did something he hadn’t allowed himself to for months. He plugged in the electric keyboard in the corner of his living room and connected his earphones (so he wouldn’t disturb his neighbors again) and spent hours playing, his black cat Taro rubbing against his legs and finally jumping up to nestle in his lap. Sho surprised himself by playing until night fell, moving from one piece to the next without pausing and occasionally improvising a few bars. Finally, he sat back, his right hand moving automatically to scratch behind Taro’s ears, causing Taro to purr contentedly.

Then he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the darkened window beside him: his face floating over the flickering city lights. He studied himself—a serious-looking man wearing headphones, playing music that only he could hear—and thought what a lonely image it seemed.

 

*

 

After their encounter at the convenience store, Sho took to heating his soup in the employee lounge, where Nino would show up with a cup of noodles around the same time everyday, and the two would talk while they took turns using the microwave. Sho wanted to eat lunch with Nino, but Nino would either return to his office or eat with Jun, who sent a glare of pure dislike Sho’s way if he took even a step towards them. Nino just rolled his eyes.

Sho learned that Nino and Jun were close friends; the only time he ever saw Jun smiling or looking (slightly) relaxed was when he spoke to Nino. Apparently, the two shared an interest in gaming and (to Sho’s astonishment) magic—Sho couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Jun performing magic tricks at a children’s birthday party. Most days, Nino would perform a two-minute card trick for Sho while his soup warmed up, barely able to suppress a smile when Sho applauded enthusiastically after every trick. Sho also learned that Nino played the drums and the guitar, that his smile showed his gums when he thought that something was really funny, and that he knew exactly what to say to throw Sho off balance at any given moment. 

Sho had to admit to himself that he wanted to date Nino. In fact, he’d be happy just to have a meal alone with him. But at first he couldn’t bring himself to further pursue what he was pretty sure was some form of unprofessional sexual harassment (it was hard to forget Aiba-san’s—the HR director’s—lengthy presentation on what constituted a “good touch” and a “bad touch” in the workplace. And it didn’t help that Aiba had used Nino as his live model, completely defeating the purpose of the sexual harassment training as far as Sho was concerned).

So Sho wrote reports, made speeches, and headed conference calls, all the while going back and forth on whether he should ask Nino out. Then one day Nino wore his bangs pinned up out of his face with what looked suspiciously like a chip clip, and Sho could no longer resist the urge to try and kiss Nino senseless. Feeling surprisingly optimistic, he decided to ask Nino out for a meal the next day (he’d learned that Nino was stingy and easily tempted by promises of free food).

But then Nino was gone. And not just that day, but the next day, and the day after that, until he’d been gone from the office for a week. Sho didn’t have his number, and in any case, what could he say? _Come back soon, this job is hell without you? Please don’t be sick, it makes my chest hurt when I think about it? Can I bring you some soup?_

 

*

 

On Friday, Sho broke down and finally asked Jun about Nino. “Is Nino on vacation?”

Jun looked up from the presentation he was reviewing, his brows knitting together. “Nino?” he repeated sourly. “Are you concerned about the IT department?”

Sho rolled his eyes. “You know that Nino and I are friends, Matsumoto-san.”

Jun snorted, turning back to the presentation. “He’s been sick with the flu. He’s better, and he’ll be in on Monday,” he muttered with evident reluctance.

Sho felt his chest tighten, then ease when he heard that Nino was better. Then he wanted to ask whether Matsumoto and Nino were together (or had ever been together). But he swallowed the question. “Thank you, Matsumoto-san,” he finally replied.

“You might as well call me Jun,” the younger man scowled down at his papers. 

 

*

 

On Monday, Sho skulked around the lunchroom microwave as long as he could before employees started sending him concerned looks. Sighing, he steeled himself to find Nino, entering the elevator and pressing the down button for the basement, the dark and somewhat dingy headquarters of the IT department. Sho had never been, but he already knew from his (very casual, he assured himself) perusal of the company directory where “Minomiya’s” office was located (Sho had frowned upon reading the misprint—he’d have to ask that new company directories be issued).

Sho walked hesitantly down the slightly darkened hallway—the rooms lining the hallway contained large black machines, where green lights flickered intermittently—to Nino’s office at the end of the hall. Sho could see why Nino usually took his lunch upstairs—the place gave him the creeps.

To Sho’s delight, Nino’s office door was open, and Sho slowed as he approached, catching the sound of Nino humming breathily. Nino sat with his back to Sho, a pair of large black headphones covering his ears while he scribbled on a piece of paper in front of him. Sho noticed a stack of neatly filled out scoring sheets; Nino seemed to be composing while singing softly to himself in a surprisingly high voice. Sho smiled, liking the way Nino mumbled over the words as he scored, clearly intent on his work, his back hunched as usual. 

Sho frowned, wanting to pull Nino’s shoulders back and straighten his posture even as the sight of the characteristic slouch made his heart beat faster. Sho raised a hand to knock at the side of the door, vaguely noticing that the rest of Nino’s office looked like a bomb had exploded inside it, scattering memos and wires in all directions.

Sho licked his lips, knocking loudly while saying, “Nino.”

Nino started visibly before lowering his headphones and swiveling around to face his visitor. “What’s up…” he started, but the words died on his lips as he saw Sho’s face.

“Nino…” Sho gasped, suddenly rushing into the office and reaching out as though to grasp his cheek. He stopped himself at the last moment, resulting in his hand hovering awkwardly above Nino, almost petting the top of his head. “Oh my god,” he choked. “What happened to you?”

Nino looked terrible. Not only was he paler than usual (something Sho wouldn’t have thought possible) but he also looked thinner, his cheekbones sharp and painful-looking. However, Sho couldn’t even start to notice that until after he’d examined Nino’s enormous black eye, and what looked like some kind of animal scratches on his cheeks and neck. Sho would have suspected a cat (he had a few on his own arms from Taro), but the red marks looked too long and powerful.

“What happened to you?” he repeated loudly, trying to remain calm but feeling so shocked that he was almost frantic. Was there a first aid kit in the office? Had Nino been eating? Had he even thought to disinfect his cuts—properly, with medicine?

It took Sho a moment to realize that he’d started babbling all of these questions out loud. Nino looked like he wanted to sink into the floor, ducking his head under Sho’s scrutiny and turning away to shuffle his papers.

“I’m fine, Sakurai-san,” he cut in sharply, clearly annoyed. Sho felt his heart sink at Nino’s formal language. “Yes, I’ve been eating. Yes, I disinfected the scratches.” Nino kept his eyes downcast and fiddled with his pen. “It’s embarrassing, but I was attacked by a dog while I was biking home from the convenience store last night. I fell off my bike and hit my eye on a parking meter. It’s stupid, right?” he grimaced.

Sho knew he should shut up, but the words kept tumbling out. “But why are you so…”

“So what?” Nino challenged, raising his dark eyes to stare into Sho’s. His face was impassive.

“So…pale…and thin…Christ, you look you haven’t eaten in a week…”

“I had the flu, remember?” Nino replied coldly, turning back again to face his desk.

Sho suddenly felt furiously angry, though he wasn’t sure why. “And you’re really feeling better?” he demanded, his voice edged with frustration.

“Yes,” Nino responded dully. “Much better. I know it must look like I’m fooling around on company time, but it’s my lunch break.”

Sho huffed with frustration, “You know I don’t…”

Nino swiveled back around and interrupted him (something that was becoming a habit of his, Sho noticed). “Did you have an IT problem to report, Sakurai-san?” he asked mechanically, eyes staring straight past Sho.

Sho wasn’t sure why his concern for Nino’s health had turned him back into “Sakurai-san,” but his presence was obviously unwelcome to Nino. He stared at Nino’s usually-warm but now emotionless brown eyes for a few moments before tearing himself away and stalking angrily out of the office, leaving Nino to his darkened basement.

 

*

 

That night, Sho tossed and turned, unable to make sense of Nino’s sudden coldness and obvious rejection of his concern. Sho’s chest clenched to think that perhaps he’d been annoying Nino this entire time; did Nino think of him as some creepy stalker or sexual harasser? Just some pathetic businessman who was clearly in love with him?

Sho groaned and buried himself underneath his pillow, trying to block out the sound of a dog howling in the distance. _And since when was he in love with Nino anyway_ , he wondered.

A fresh howl from the animal outside accompanied Sho’s muttered answer, “Since the first time I read his stupid name badge.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Jun confirmed that Nino had been both ill and in an accident. 

Sho never saw Nino by the microwave anymore. So he started eating in his office again. He ran into Nino a few times in the hallway, though. At first, Sho had smiled at him, hoping he was forgiven for however he’d offended Nino. Maybe Nino just hated people prying into his private life but would forgive him after a while, he hoped. But Nino always cast his eyes down and hurried by, muttering “Hello Sakurai-san” and nothing more in response to Sho’s greeting. Sho was quickly convinced that Nino despised him.

“Nino doesn’t have many friends,” Jun offered one day, rolling his eyes as Sho moped over writing some motivational memos. “He’s hard to get to know, and it’s really better to leave him to himself.” Jun softened (almost imperceptibly) at Sho’s miserable expression. “I’m sure it’s not you, Sho. Nino is just…Nino. Give him some space.”

So Sho gave Nino his space. And he started perusing the job listings every morning at breakfast while Taro curled up in his lap. At night, he ate his dinner while staring at a book and thinking about leaving town.

But then, about four weeks after their meeting in Nino’s office, it happened. Sho was walking down the hall when Nino appeared at the opposite end, watching his feet distractedly and rubbing the back of his neck, failing to notice Sho’s gaze. Then Nino looked up. He had another black eye, and once again he looked like he hadn’t eaten in a week. Nino saw Sho’s face and, with an expression of total panic, promptly turned around and bolted down the hall.

Sho didn’t hesitate, throwing the files he was carrying to the floor and sprinting after him. “You’re seriously going to make me chase you?” he shouted after him.

“Give up!” Nino called over his shoulder. “You crazy stalker!” he added.

“This is a place of business!” Sho cried desperately as he watched Nino careen towards the elevators. “No running in the hallways!” he panted, finally catching up to a heavily-breathing Nino, who was frantically mashing the elevator’s down button.

Sho knew he was being ridiculous (he was incredibly lucky, in fact, that he hadn’t been seen racing down the hall after the head of the IT department), and his heart twisted when he saw Nino’s anxious expression as he glanced back at Sho. But he wasn’t going to give up now.

“You’re faster than I expected,” Nino muttered as he continued leaning on the down button. “Fuck, where is the elevator.”

Sho took a cautious step towards Nino, not touching the younger man but placing an arm on either side of his body, trapping him between his body and the wall. “I caught you,” he said softly, his breath tickling the back of Nino’s neck. The soft hairs at Nino’s nape stood on end, and the younger man shivered. “Now tell me what’s going on.”

To Sho’s surprise, Nino leaned back into his chest, Sho’s lips accidentally meeting the top of Nino’s head. Sho dropped his arms, allowing his hands to hover over Nino’s hips. He closed his eyes, breathing in Nino’s strangely-familiar scent. Sho felt like he’d been sleepwalking for the past four weeks, and that he was finally waking up again.

In an instant, the warmth of Nino’s back was gone, and Sho heard a door being flung open and then slamming shut. Sho groaned. Nino was heading up the stairs to the roof.

 

*

 

Sho lingered in the doorway, wanting to walk towards Nino but unable to release his death-grip on the doorframe. He gritted his teeth and exhaled slowly, counting to ten. _Just focus on Nino_ , he instructed himself as he slowly released the doorframe and took a shaky step forward. He tried to fill his vision with Nino’s slim (actually, too slim) back and ignore the surrounding view. 

He made it within three steps of Nino before he had to stop. From the stiff set of Nino’s shoulders as he leaned over the ledge, Sho could tell that Nino intended to ignore him.

“You really know how to sneak up on a guy, Sakurai-san,” Nino finally spoke.

If he could, Sho would have leaped forward and tackled Nino, holding him down until he confessed—confessed why he was as pale as a ghost, why he had (another) black eye, why Sho could see scratches on the back of his neck and bruises on his hands. But if he took one more step, he was pretty sure he’d pass out. Instead, he licked his lips and swallowed. “Please call me Sho,” he managed to get out, with a slight bow.

Sho watched Nino’s shoulders sag. “Please leave, Sho,” he pronounced clearly. “I don’t want you here.”

“As your boss…”

“Yeah, as a boss, is this how you usually treat your employees? You harass them and chase them out of the office?”

“Only when they want me to.” As Sho had expected, that reply annoyed Nino enough to get him to turn around. His face looked even worse than Sho remembered—there was a bandage above his right eye that Sho hadn’t noticed before, and his pale face looked haggard with exhaustion. Sho felt a hot, prickling sensation behind his eyes as he took in Nino’s appearance.

“You know how sick that sounds, right?” Nino scowled at him.

Sho missed saying Nino’s name out loud. He missed Nino’s scratchy voice, the way it moved so quickly between different pitches and tones of harshness and gentleness. “Nino, if you didn’t want to talk to me, you could have just walked away. You ran because you wanted me to run after you,” Sho pronounced the words with more confidence than he actually felt. Something in Nino’s eyes wavered, so Sho pressed on, “I won’t bother you again if I can be sure that you aren’t being hurt by someone.” Sho paused. “Or hurting yourself.”

Nino huffed, rolling his eyes before slamming a hand against the ledge. “Goddamn it, Sho, I’m fine!” he shouted.

Sho caught a glimpse of tiny buildings in the distance, and he felt a wave of panic wash over him. He tried to refocus his gaze on Nino. “Then what happened? You ran into another parking meter?” Sho couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

“Yes,” Nino growled. “And a new game came out, and I’ve been playing it non-stop for a week. Sometimes I forget to eat.”

“That sounds like you, but I don’t believe you.” Sho’s heart was racing. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself on solid ground.

“Fine, you caught me. I’m in a fight club. Me and a couple other IT guys meet in the basement every month and beat the shit out of each other.”

“You hate getting hurt. You cried when Jun spilled coffee on your arm. And you told me that you have a fractured left wrist from when a car hit you in high school. You can’t punch anyone. At least not very well.”

“Okay. My boyfriend and I tie each other up. We hit each other and get off on it. Happy?” he spat.

Sho opened his eyes as nausea overtook him. He shook his head, “No.”

“What do I have to say to get you to leave, Sho,” Nino’s voice cracked when he reached Sho’s name.

Sho fell to his knees, the dizziness overwhelming him. He missed Nino’s panicked cry. Nino dropped to his knees and seized Sho’s face in his hands, “Sho-chan, are you okay?” he demanded, eyes wide.

“I’m fine,” Sho breathed out, eyes squeezed shut, “Just really, really, really afraid of heights.”

Nino made a noise that somehow combined disgust and relief and proceeded to push Sho down until his back hit the concrete. “Then just look up at the sky and pretend you’re lying on the ground,” Nino ordered, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Sho smiled again and tugged on Nino’s wrist. “Lay down with me for a second until I catch my breath.” Nino frowned. “Or just go back to work, whatever you think is right,” Sho muttered sulkily.

Nino rolled his eyes and moved to lie down next to Sho, “You’re more passive-aggressive than my mother, Sho-chan,” he grumbled as he shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position.

Sho couldn’t suppress a grin at the endearment. Nino was right—when he looked just at the sky, the panic started to fade away. And his dizziness had completely disappeared. But he didn’t have to tell Nino that right away.

Nino exhaled and raised a hand to rub his (good) eye. Sho felt a stab of guilt—Nino looked even more exhausted after their exchange. Sho had hoped that once he caught Nino, he’d be able to heroically fold him into his arms and promise to save him from whatever was hurting him. Instead, he’d ended up gasping for air and almost fainting in Nino’s arms. _Not attractive_ , Sho reflected.

But he was still glad to be at Nino’s side, able to feel the heat radiating off the younger man’s body that was only inches away from his own. The side of his body near Nino was starting to go numb, and his fingers itched to grab Nino’s small hand.

“You make me feel like I’m in high school again,” Nino offered quietly.

Sho snuck a quick peek at Nino’s face before fixing his eyes on the sky again. “Why?”

“You’re really melodramatic and stupid, like a teenager. You chase people down hallways.” Sho decided not to point out that Nino had started it. “You’re like some meddling student council member,” he continued, his voice oddly gentle. “I bet you were a class president, huh?”

Sho shook his head, “No, I was vice-president. I lost a janken match to my best friend, and he ran for president while I ran for vice-president.”

Nino laughed. Sho smiled, happy to hear Nino laugh at him again. “Vice-president. That makes even more sense.” Nino was silent for a few minutes. “I used to lie on the roof like this all the time during high school.”

Sho tried to picture Nino as a high school student. It wasn’t difficult—Nino already looked like a high school student to him. “You probably had a mohawk and safety pins in your eyebrows.”

Nino grinned and shook his head, “No, I wasn’t very noticeable. I spent most of my time on the roof or in gardening club.”

Sho tried to imagine Nino gardening, once again finding it surprisingly easy to picture. “I was kicked out of kendo club and joined flower arranging,” he volunteered, realizing too late that this information could only further confirm his status as _not attractive_.

Nino laughed, raising the back of his hand to cover his mouth. Sho turned his head to stare at Nino, and his heart thumped to discover Nino staring back at him with sad dark eyes. “I think you’re pretty noticeable, Nino.”

Nino blinked. “Listen, Sho-chan,” he finally responded softly, “If you really…” Nino averted his eyes, “want to help me, then I need you to do two things for me.”

Sho stayed as still as possible, afraid that if he even breathed too loudly Nino would stop talking. “First, I need you to accept that when I say I’m okay, I’m really okay.” Sho opened his mouth to protest, but as usual Nino spoke over him, “and second, I need you to let all this go.” Nino stared up at the sky, “Because if you keep this up, you’re either going to lose your job…”

“I don’t care if…”

Nino’s gaze moved back to Sho, his expression calm but the most serious Sho had ever seen it, “…or I’m going to have to leave.”

Sho sat up, his brows knitting together with confusion. What could be so awful that Nino would rather disappear than tell him? Was he protecting someone else with his secret? Sho raised a hand as if to reach for Nino, but Nino shied away from him like a frightened animal, quickly scrambling to his feet and taking a step back.

Sho stood up slowly and tried to force a smile. For a moment he forgot his fear and turned to stare at the horizon, where a red sun was beginning to sink into gray and yellow clouds. “Okay, Nino,” he said shakily, “I’ll try to let this go.”

Sho heard a door slam. He turned back around; as he had expected, Nino was gone.

 

*

 

That night, Sho dreamed that he was back in high school, only he was the student council president instead of vice-president. For some reason, he was observing the activities of the gardening club, taking notes. He watched Nino, who was carefully tending a rose bush. 

But then Nino disappeared, his figure swallowed up by the garden. Sho plunged into the bushes, using his clipboard to beat back the vines that appeared to twine around his wrists and ankles, ignoring the thorns that scratched at his arms and chest. Finally, he spotted Nino up ahead, his back facing Sho. 

Sho reached out for him but fell, and once he struggled to his feet, he was in the president’s office at Android, Ltd. The fax machine was spitting out papers at high speed, filling the room and drowning Sho in a sea of white as he fought to reach the door, certain he could hear Nino’s laughter in the hallway. Suddenly, Nino appeared at his side, his eyes dark and huge as he held up hands covered in small paper cuts. Sho was suffocating, buried in memos before he could grab Nino’s hands.

Sho woke with a shout, frightening Taro off from where he’d been comfortably sleeping atop Sho’s chest. Sho yelled again as he realized that he was surrounded by fresh air. He was soaked in sweat, naked, and his head was sticking out the window of his second-story apartment.

Sho scrambled up and sat panting on the edge of the bed. He pulled an annoyed-looking Taro back into his lap and held his hand over Taro’s chest so that he could feel the cat’s calm, regular heartbeat. After a few minutes, he switched on the light and changed into a pair of sweatpants, wandering into his living room to watch the sunrise. Restless, he sat at the piano, putting on his headphones and preparing to play. But his fingers only hovered above the keys for a few moments before coming to rest.

He couldn’t play. There was a knot in his chest that wouldn’t loosen. _What am I feeling right now?_ And then it hit him. _Oh. I want something_.

It was strange, but when Sho thought about it, he hadn’t actually wanted something in a very long time. He wanted his friends and relatives to be happy, to be proud of him. He wanted to excel, for them.

But at work he was floating—a ghost wandering the hallways of upper-level management. The last time he could recall feeling an insistent throb of desire was when he was fourteen years old, watching his senpai play at the junior high school talent show. He’d longed for a piano of his own as he watched his senpai’s fingers fly across the keys. 

Right now, just for himself and for no other reason, he wanted to help Nino.

He wasn’t letting go. He was done floating.

 

*

 

“Wow, you look terrible.” Jun examined Sho critically for a moment, “Did you get a weird haircut or something?”

If they were going to talk about weird haircuts, Sho thought, they should probably start with Jun’s recent history. But right now he had more important matters to bring to Jun’s attention. “I think Nino might be a heroin addict. Or some other kind of drug addict.”

Jun’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head. Sho had forgotten just how intimidating the younger executive could look. “ _What_?” Jun responded coldly.

“I think maybe a drug addiction could explain his condition. Or he has an abusive boyfriend. Or maybe he has a serious illness that he’s not telling anyone about. But even if he’s sick, what about the black eye, and the scratches?”

“Sho, what are you talking about?” Jun demanded, his eyes narrowing as he glared at Sho. “Do you really think this is a conversation we should be having?”

Sho snapped. He slammed a hand down on Jun’s desk, “I thought you were his friend!” he shouted. “Why don’t you care that he comes to work looking like a wild animal attacked him? And he looks like he’s starving!”

Jun sprang up, clamping a hand over Sho’s mouth. “I understand that you’re upset right now, Sho-kun,” he hissed, “but please remember that if you don’t calm the hell down and lower your voice, everyone on this floor will hear you accusing Nino of being a junkie.”

Jun had a point. Sho forced himself to rein in his frustration. He stepped back and managed to reply in a normal tone of voice while bowing, “I’m sorry, Jun. That was out of line.” He raised himself back up to look Jun in the eye. “But I still can’t understand why you’re not concerned about Nino’s health. If it’s something like an illness or an addiction, the company could be supporting him and offering him services that could help him. If it’s something else, shouldn’t you be helping him?”

Jun stared back at Sho with a strangely conflicted expression, looking as if he were just on the verge of confessing something. But then he seemed to swallow the words, and instead he scrutinized Sho’s flushed appearance. Jun sat behind his desk, tenting his fingers meditatively. “I’ve never seen you this worked up before,” he murmured, as if talking to himself, “I didn’t think you could even get angry.” Sho wasn’t sure how to reply to Jun’s faintly-accusing tone. “What’s that paper in your hand?” Jun continued.

“Uh…it’s a list I came up with this morning…of what could be wrong with Nino…”

Jun leaned over and snatched it from Sho’s hand before he had a chance to resist. Jun scanned the list, muttering to himself as he read, “Prostituting himself for drug money, encounters dangerous clients…gambling addict, gets roughed up by the mob when he can’t pay his debts…dying of a mysterious disease…hemophiliac…really is part of an IT fight club that meets monthly in the company basement…attempts dangerous magic tricks in his spare time…rescued a wild bear (or some other large clawed animal), is raising it in secret and gets hurt when he brings it food…” Jun glanced up at Sho and raised an eyebrow, “Are these serious suggestions?”

Sho returned Jun’s gaze resolutely even as he shrugged his shoulders. “It was the best I could come up with based on what I’ve seen.”

Jun’s gaze flicked between Sho and the list a few times before he slowly set the paper down on his desk. Jun examined his perfectly manicured fingernails, not meeting Sho’s eyes as he carefully and clearly pronounced his next words, as if he wanted to be sure that Sho didn't mistake them, “Sakurai-san, if you have these kinds of concerns about Ninomiya-san, then I think it’s an issue you need to take up with the head of Human Resources.”

 

*

 

Sho stared blankly into the terrifyingly-adorable face of a small kitten. The kitten gazed sadly into the distance while hanging precariously from the branch of a tree. “Hang in there, Baby!” the poster proclaimed in bold type above the kitten’s head. Sho wanted to turn back. It wasn’t that he disliked Aiba-san. He just found the HR director a bit too…enthusiastic. Energetic. Unbelievably eager to help.

Sho took a deep breath and knocked on Aiba-san’s office door, studiously avoiding the kitten’s innocent gaze. _But that’s exactly what I need right now_ , Sho reminded himself, _someone who believes in clinging to your last hope_.


	3. Chapter 3

Less than a second after his first knock, Sho was greeted by a cheerful, “Come on in Sakurai-san!”

Sho entered with a hesitant expression. “How did you know I was coming?”

The cheerful HR director pushed himself back from his desk with enough force that his wheeled chair went careening across the room to meet Sho near the door. “Jun-kun called to give me a heads up," Aiba beamed, looking absolutely delighted to see Sho. “I’m absolutely delighted to see you, Sho-chan,” Aiba continued with a smile, “you’re a tough nut to crack, but I knew I’d get you in here eventually!” Aiba then started poking playfully at Sho’s stomach from his seated position, an activity that might have gone on for a while if Sho hadn’t suddenly jumped back in fright---not at Aiba’s poking, but at the realization that a large green parrot was currently residing in Aiba's office.

“Uh…Aiba-san…why is there a…large green parrot in your office?” Sho stammered.

Aiba stood up and walked over nonchalantly to stroke the top of the bird’s head. “Please call me Masaki, or at least Aiba, Sho-chan. And Jun-chan,” Aiba gave the parrot an affectionate pat on its back, “is here for the revitalizing employee pet therapy session I’m holding later this afternoon.” Aiba’s brilliant smile dimmed, “You didn’t get the memo about the event?” Aiba asked with an expression of deep concern.

Recently, Sho had taken to discarding the memos he received from Aiba-san, as they usually included invitations to similarly-disturbing “employee revitalization” sessions. “I’m sorry Aiba, I must have missed it...wait, the parrot’s name is Jun-chan?”

Aiba’s smile returned. “Yes,” he smoothed the parrot’s plumage fondly, “doesn’t he remind you of Jun-kun?”

“You mean…Matusmoto-san?”

“Exactly!” Aiba cried, “I knew I wasn’t the only one who saw it.”

Upon closer inspection, Sho had to admit that the parrot did in fact bear a passing resemblance to Jun. Mainly in its sour expression. “Good morning,” the parrot intoned in a low voice. Sho couldn't help smiling---it was pretty much an exact imitation of how Jun sounded in the morning.

“Come over here and give him a pet, Sho-chan.”

“That’s alright Aiba, I’m not really good with animals…”

Aiba examined Sho thoughtfully, “But you look so stressed, Sho. Come on, it will make you feel better.”

“Thanks but…”

Aiba’s smile became even more determined. “Sho, if you really want to start a mutually-beneficial, open dialogue with me, I’m going to need you to loosen up. And. Pet. The. Parrot.” Aiba pronounced slowly, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Sho approached meekly and, with an embarrassed “Good morning,” gently stroked the parrot’s head a few times while it stared back at him beadily.

“Great. Now don’t you feel better?” Aiba grinned.

“Yes, much better,” Sho mumbled.

Aiba returned to his desk and offered Sho a nearby seat. In fact, the chair was so nearby that the two men’s knees were touching once they both sat down. Sho found it difficult to think in Aiba’s office---the room was so full of wide, dewy eyes (with the exception of the parrot's beady ones) staring at him from walls and ceiling (and pretty much every other available surface in the room). Aiba had four different animal-themed calendars above his desk. In each one, the animals (puppies, kittens, lion cubs and baby seals, respectively) were playing with balls of yarn of various sizes. And the HR director had also accumulated a large collection of bobblehead dog figurines atop his desk, which shook their heads vehemently at Sho as he sat down.

Sho tore his gaze away from the seizure-inducing décor of Aiba’s office to focus on the HR director, who was gazing back at Sho with a wide, dewy-eyed gaze of his own. But Sho was relieved to find that, since petting Jun-chan, Aiba seemed to have calmed down considerably. His eyes were still bright with excitement, but he seemed to be making an effort to contain himself. “So Jun-kun said you were coming to discuss an issue with Nino-chan?”

 _Jun-kun, Nino-chan_ , Sho reflected, _Just how well does Aiba know them_? Sho assumed a formal tone, “Yes. First of all, I want to make it clear that I’m not here to file any kind of complaint against Ninomiya-san, nor do I have any problems with his professional performance---he is an excellent head of the IT department.” Sho actually had no idea whether this was true, but his computer seemed to work fine so he decided to just go with it. “Rather, I’m concerned about Ninomiya-san’s health…”

To Sho’s surprise, Aiba laughed. “Oh good, I was afraid you might be coming to file a counter-complaint.” Seeing Sho’s nonplussed expression, Aiba confused him further by elaborating, “Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you from Jun-kun and Nino, Sho-chan.” Aiba laughed again. “Actually, he was in here just the other day trying to file a sexual harassment complaint against you. But don’t worry,” Aiba winked at Sho conspiratorially, “I told him you were probably just flirting with him and that he should relax and have a little fun.”

Sho gaped. “Uh…if Nino wants to file some kind of complaint against me…isn’t it your job to…”

Aiba’s eyes were as big as saucers, “Do you want to have a complaint of sexual harassment filed against you?” he asked reproachfully.

“No, no, of course not! But if Nino feels…”

Aiba waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, Nino and I are friends, and that’s just Nino being Nino. I know how much he really values Sho-chan’s friendship,” Aiba smiled. “You should hear him go on about you.” Aiba suddenly launched into a surprisingly-accurate imitation of Nino’s scratchy voice, _“You should see how Sho applauds all my magic tricks! You wouldn’t believe the tie that Sho was wearing today! I wonder why they let Sho-chan write the quarterly newsletter just because he increased productivity in the Eastern region by 2.6 percent!”_

Sho was certain that none of those phrases had been intended as praise by Nino. But even the thought that Nino would talk about him with a friend…that he might even call him Sho-chan in front of other people…it made Sho’s heart jump in his chest, and he felt himself blushing at Aiba's imitation.

Aiba’s voice brought Sho out of his daze. “Sho,” Aiba suddenly dropped to a whisper, “I think your issue with Nino may not be…let’s say…a _professional_ matter. I’ve been close friends with Nino since high school,” Aiba reached to turn around one of the framed photos on his desk to reveal a picture of a young Aiba and Nino on what looked like a high school roof, both dressed in uniforms, their arms slung around each other’s shoulders (with Nino looking precisely the same as he did now, only less bruised. It was just like Sho had imagined him), “and I think this is...more of a personal matter, if you get what I mean,” Aiba finished with an exaggerated wink that seemed to take all the effort of the right side of his face.

Sho was pretty sure that even Jun-chan knew what Aiba meant. “Yes,” he responded slowly, beginning to warm to the idea and starting to feel an odd sense of relief that Nino apparently had another close friend (and one who was clearly more interested in helping Sho than Jun was), “why don’t we discuss this off the record, just as two friends of Nino?”

Aiba beamed, “Perfect.” The director jumped out of his seat, looking determined, “But if we’re going to discuss this off the record, we need to change locations. I use my office exclusively for conducting professional business.” Sho couldn't help glancing around at the plethora of colorful kittens and puppies that surrounded him. Aiba didn't seem to notice. “Follow me!” he cried.

 

*

 

“Are you sure the…janitor’s closet…is really the best venue for this discussion?” Sho asked Aiba, his voice tinged with a sense of his inevitable defeat. He was starting to fear for his own sanity in going along with Aiba’s plans, but he found himself unable to resist the other man’s orders (actually, it kind of reminded him of his relationship with Nino. Maybe he was more of a DoM than he thought).

Aiba readjusted himself so that there was now a full four inches between their bodies. The two men were squeezed in between two shelves of cleaning supplies, both standing on top of a mop. “We need a safe location,” Aiba replied confidently. From the glint in his eye, Sho suspected that Aiba was taking this opportunity to live out some kind of long-held James Bond fantasy. This suspicion was confirmed when Aiba’s next words were, “And what I have to say about Nino is _for your ears only_.” Aiba waggled his eyebrows meaningfully.

In spite of his doubts about the HR director, Sho felt his heart rate increase and his pulse start to pound---perhaps he would finally learn the truth about Nino’s secret. “Yes?” he said hopefully.

Aiba nodded his head solemnly. “Yes. Sho, Nino _likes_ you. I mean, he _likes_ likes you.”

Not exactly what Sho had been expecting to hear, but Sho couldn’t help practically glowing at the words anyway. Though he would have felt a lot more confident believing it if it was coming from Jun rather than Aiba. Sho had to admit that Aiba was capable of imagining love (or at least, " _like_ liking" someone) when all Nino had really done was insult Sho’s tie. But he couldn't stop himself from wanting to believe it. “Are you sure? If he wanted to file a complaint against me…and he asked me to leave him alone…actually, he asked me to leave him alone a couple of times, I don’t think…”

Aiba shook his head, looking (for him) surprisingly serious. “No, Sho. He’s staying away from you to protect you. It’s because he cares about you that he doesn’t want to be around you. Nino’s not like other people, he…” Sho’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened as though thirsting for Aiba’s revelation.

The closet door opened, and Sho gave a squeak as he found himself staring into the sleepy-looking face of the tanned convenience store clerk he bought his yogurt from every morning. The man made no visible reaction to discovering Sho and Aiba in the closet. “Hi Aiba,” he said sleepily, “just move over a bit so I can grab the Vo-ban. Someone thew up all over the place in Accounting.” Aiba pressed closer to Sho to give the janitor room, murmuring “Hi Oh-chan” as he did so.

“Oh-chan?” Sho repeated. 

The tanned man give him a brief nod. “Hi Sho-chan.” Seeing Sho’s shocked expression, Oh-chan seemed to recall something, “Oh sorry, I forgot we haven’t really met. I’m Satoshi. I guess I just think of you as Sho-chan since Nino’s always talking about you. See you later,” he mumbled as he sauntered down the hallway, whistling softly to himself.

Aiba shut the door behind him and backed away from Sho. “See,” he smiled triumphantly, “and you didn’t believe me when I said that Nino likes you. He even talks about you to Oh-chan! And he only talks to Oh-chan about really important things.”

Sho was having a hard time pulling himself together. The convenience store clerk also worked part-time in his building as a janitor? Why had he never noticed him before? Shaking his head, he tried to get Aiba back on track, “You were saying that Nino is different from other people…?” Sho prompted eagerly.

Aiba sighed. “Yeah. I know he doesn’t seem like it Sho, but Nino’s actually a really sensitive person. Small things mean a lot to him, like when you got his name badge fixed…”

Sho closed his eyes, feeling like he was going to explode with frustration. “Aiba-san,” he whispered stiffly, trying to contain himself, “I was _hoping_ you could explain to me why Nino comes into work sick and beaten and scratched by either an animal or a human or both.”

For the first time in their exchange, Aiba fell silent. Sho opened his eyes to find the HR director looking distinctly uncomfortable. Sho’s expression softened at Aiba's pained look, “I came to you because I wanted to help Nino.” Sho wasn’t sure why---maybe it was from petting the stupid parrot---but he could no longer hold back the emotions beginning to choke him. Tears started in his eyes, and he wiped them away roughly with a tired sigh before continuing, “When I see him looking like that…my chest…it just…it's like I can’t take it…and you and Jun act like it’s nothing, like you don’t even see it…but how can it be okay for him to be like that? I don’t care what he thinks of me…I just want…” Sho couldn't make it any further, swallowing back tears as he stared at the ground.

He looked up to discover Aiba’s eyes gushing over with tears. He rolled his eyes. “I knew you cared about him,” Aiba replied seriously even as he struggled to repress his tears. “I’m really glad he finally found a good guy. The thing is, Sho,” Aiba surprised Sho by letting out a short, sad laugh, “you’re the first person at this company to notice, let alone care, about Nino's condition.” Aiba sniffled. “Listen, I can’t tell Nino’s secret for him, but you don’t really need to know it, do you Sho-chan?”

Sho just stared. “But if I don’t know what’s wrong, how can I...”

Aiba (like Nino) seemed to enjoy interrupting him. “Why should it matter, Sho? If you know you love Nino, then you have all the answers you need. You just need to be honest with Nino and show him your love,” Aiba finished, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Sho returned Aiba’s clear-eyed gaze. “Thanks, Aiba-chan,” he finally responded softly. “We’re lucky to have you as our director of human resources,” Sho offered sincerely.

Aiba pulled Sho into a bone-crushing hug, “Thanks, Sho, I’m really proud of the work I do.” Sho limply allowed Aiba to continue weeping softly onto his shoulder. “…and Sho-chan?”

“Yes?”

“I really need an executive to free up some funds for me so that we can finally have a revitalizing employee cosplay party…”

Before Sho could respond, he nearly jumped out of his skin at the familiar sound of Nino’s voice, grumbling as he opened the door, “Telling me to meet you in the broom closet…we better be planning a really good prank this time Aiba…”

Nino froze at the sight before him, what little color he had left draining from his face as he confronted Sho and Aiba locked in a passionate embrace in the janitor’s closet.

Aiba sprang back from Sho with a small wail. “Nino!” he admonished, still teary-eyed, “you got here too soon! You totally ruined my plan!”

Nino composed himself, his stricken expression replaced by one of bitter amusement. “Let me guess,” he said, with only a quick look at Sho’s shocked expression, “you thought you’d open the door, shove me in here, and lock me in with Sho until the two of us made up, right?”

Aiba nodded miserably while Nino continued his tirade, his voice shaking slightly, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed Aiba, but we’re working in one of those boring, real-life offices, not one of those awesome offices filled with wacky hijinks that you no doubt watch on countless sitcoms every night, mistaking them for documentaries. I’m not a loveable protagonist, and in real life people don’t just get locked in closets with the person they…” Nino suddenly halted his speech, looking confused and turning slightly pink as he involuntarily glanced back at Sho.

In an instant, Sho had grabbed Nino’s arm and dragged him in while simultaneously shoving Aiba out. Nino gave a slightly-girlish shriek of “Sho!” while Aiba let out a triumphant “HA!” as he slammed the door shut behind him, whipping out a key to lock it.

Panting, not sure how (or why) he’d managed to pull it off, Sho stared down at the surprised expression on Nino's upturned face as he enfolded the younger man tightly in his arms. “Nino,” he finally managed to breathe out, “I’m not letting go.”


	4. Chapter 4

Nino didn’t try to make Sho let him go. For once, the younger man seemed to have nothing to say. He simply gaped at Sho, stunned. Sho took in Nino’s face, dimly illuminated by the sliver of light beneath the closet door. Even in the darkness, Sho could see that Nino’s brown eyes were glowing with emotion as they gazed up at him. Sho embraced him even more tightly, brushing his lips against Nino’s soft hair. Nino remained still in his arms; Sho could feel Nino’s chest expanding and contracting at an ever-faster rate. Sho relaxed his hold slightly, backing up a little to stare into Nino’s eyes again. “Aiba-chan just gave me some advice.”

“Are you really so desperate that you have to ask Aiba for advice,” Nino muttered, the familiar raspy tone setting Sho at ease.

“He said I should tell you how I feel.” Sho swallowed, “So I want to say…”

“I don’t think that’s a good…”

“Would you stop interrupting me for once? It’s okay if you want to interrupt me later, but just give me this one chance, okay?”

Nino hesitated, his eyes conflicted. Then he closed his eyes, exhaled slowly and suddenly (to Sho’s surprise) pushed his face into Sho’s neck, coming to rest near his Adam’s apple. “Okay,” came Nino’s muffled response, “you’ve got two minutes.” Amazed by Nino’s action, Sho raised his hand, indecisively hovering it over Nino’s head before finally bringing it to rest in Nino’s hair. Nino turned his head so that he was resting on Sho’s sloping shoulder and waited.

“Ever since the first time I met you, things have just been…different…I’ve been different. I hadn’t played the piano for a year before I saw you, but after seeing you all I wanted to do was play. But now that’s not enough either…because I just want you.” Sho felt as though he were in a trance, or like someone had given him a dose of truth serum. With Nino this close to him---Nino’s soft breath on his neck, Nino’s scent---it was like he couldn’t stop himself from saying whatever was in his head. Actually, it was more like the words were falling from his mouth before he had a chance to think about them. “When I see you in the hallway, it’s like I can’t breathe anymore…or like I’m standing on my head and everything is upside down…it’s strange but I’d rather feel like that and be near you than feel anything else…” 

Sho forced himself to stop his stream-of-consciousness confession, struggling to think of the perfect words that would convince Nino to trust him. Then inspiration struck. “It’s like my heart has been frozen for the past five years, and only you can turn it on.” Sho took a deep breath and closed his eyes, readying himself for his big finish as he tightened his hold on Nino, “Nino, won’t you click on my heart?”

Sho opened his eyes and frowned, feeling himself cringe involuntarily. Somehow, that last line had sounded a lot more impressive in his head. With his hand resting on Nino’s back, Sho could feel the younger man starting to tremble. At first it was only a slight movement, but then Nino was actually shaking in his arms. Sho’s eyes widened. _Did I actually move Nino to tears?_

Sho looked down, struggling to make out Nino’s expression in the dark. There were tears in Nino’s eyes. But then a snort, followed by a sudden cackle, let Sho know that he was mistaken. Nino quickly raised a hand to his mouth, biting down on it in a desperate attempt to suppress the laughter that was shaking his body.

“Was it really that bad of a confession?” Sho asked, crestfallen. The thing was, Sho never minded Nino laughing at him. In fact, he liked it when Nino laughed at him; no one ever laughed at Sho or seemed to find him amusing except for Nino. Yes, Nino was usually laughing at him rather than with him, but---if he could judge from Nino’s interactions with Jun and Satoshi---Nino seemed to laugh frequently at the people he cared about. But Sho couldn’t help feeling depressed at his inability to come up with a romantic confession.

Nino shook his head, leaning back a little to look up at Sho, attempting to rearrange his features into a serious expression (though he was still trembling a little, and his eyes were laughing). “No, Sho, it was the best.” Sho stared back at him skeptically. Nino took a deep breath, his body finally stilling. “I’m serious,” he continued in a softer but still clear voice, his eyes warm. “It was really, really good. For me, it was the best.” Nino grinned again, “Except for the last part, which was just fucking confusing.” To Sho’s delight, Nino pressed his face into his neck again, this time his warm breath tickling Sho’s collarbone, “You made yourself sound like a malfunctioning robot.”

Sho laughed hollowly. “Yeah,” he answered, “lately, that’s what I feel like when I’m not around you, or when I see you hurt. Like my heart has fraying wires.”

Nino groaned softly, his eyes squeezing shut as though he were in pain. “You’re not making this any easier on me.”

“Good. I want it to be hard,” Sho murmured, bringing his head down and tipping Nino’s face towards him until their lips met. Nino’s lips were warm. Sho’s lips were shaking. He knocked his teeth against Nino’s bottom lip. “Sorry,” he mumbled. Then Nino was kissing him back, hard. Really hard. And before he knew what he was doing, Sho had Nino pressed up against the closet shelves, their fingers interlaced as, panting, they explored each other’s mouths. After a particularly long and deep kiss, Nino pulled back, gasping. “Give me a second to breathe,” he mumbled, trying (but failing) to scowl. Sho backed up a little, still keeping their fingers interlaced, and smiled as he let his eyes take in Nino’s softly mussed hair and wet lips. As though by a magnet, he felt his gaze drawn back to Nino’s dark eyes, which were filled with some emotion that Sho couldn’t name. “I _like_ like you, Nino,” he confessed.

“I’m going to kill Aiba,” Nino growled softly, and then suddenly his mouth was attached to Sho’s neck, making Sho let out a strangled yelp of surprise. Nino’s mouth was on his neck, his collarbone, and then his chest, and his hands were crawling underneath Sho’s suit jacket to stroke up and down along Sho’s ribs. Sho was suddenly so aroused that it hurt; he felt like he might pass out from the rush of desire (and the sudden loss of blood in his head and limbs, it felt like it was all rushing to his crotch).

And Nino falling to his knees in front of Sho certainly wasn’t helping the situation. Or, if Sho thought about it another way, it was helping the situation a _lot_. His mind going blank, Sho’s hands automatically fell on top of Nino’s head as the younger man pressed his nose gently against Sho’s thigh, reaching up to unfasten Sho’s belt buckle. Sho made a choking noise as Nino nosed even closer to his crotch, feeling dangerously close to embarrassing himself in a way that Nino might not so easily forgive…

Then a key turned, and Satoshi opened the closet door to the sight of Nino on his knees in front of Sho, Nino's hand at Sho’s belt buckle.

Satoshi blinked. “I have to get the mop out,” he announced loudly. Dazed, Sho and Nino pressed themselves further back into the closet, moving their feet (and in Nino’s case, his knees) so that Satoshi could pull the mop out from underneath them. “Hi Nino, Hi Sho,” Satoshi nodded as he grabbed the mop.

“Hi Oh-chan,” “Hi Satoshi,” the two men chorused. Then the janitor was gone, shutting the door behind him calmly. Sho and Nino looked at each other, each temporarily frozen in place. Finally, Nino shook his head, waking himself out of the daze that had fallen over both of them since Satoshi’s entrance. Nino gave a small sigh before continuing. “Where were we…” he mumbled as he started to slide off Sho’s belt.

But Satoshi’s entrance had been enough to get the gears in Sho’s head to start turning again (albeit at a pretty slow pace). “Wait,” he said, taking a hold of Nino’s hand, “wait,” he repeated, struggling to find the words for the doubts in his head. Sho brought a hand to Nino’s chin, forcing the younger man to look up at him. Nino’s dark eyes were unreadable. “Is this an I-like-you-too-and-let’s-celebrate-being-together blowjob,” Nino’s eyes hardened as Sho continued, “…or is this a one-time-we’ll-never-be-together-but-I-want-you-off-my-back blowjob?”

Nino moved out of Sho’s grip before answering. “You really want to know?”

Sho hesitated. In fact, he may have paused significantly. _I could pretend, and just let it happen. And then at least I’d have the memory_. “Forget it, I already know,” he sighed. He stepped back, grabbing Nino’s shoulders and pulling him to his feet. “I don’t want it if you don’t come with it.”

Nino jerked himself out from under Sho's hands as though stung by his touch, moving as far back from the man as he could (which only put about four inches between them). He raised his small hands to cover his face, rubbing his eyes with his palms as he bit out a response, “It really pisses me off when you do that, Sakurai-san.”

“When I do what?”

Nino lowered his hands and glared at him, “Make me feel like an asshole when I’m trying to be nice to you.”

Sho felt himself getting angry. “I don’t need you to give me some kind of pity…”

Nino shouted over him, “That’s not what I meant!” At Sho’s warning look, Nino lowered his voice to a furious whisper before continuing, “I meant that I’m trying to be nice to you by leaving you. When I say that this isn’t going to work, I’m not trying to play hard to get.” Nino’s voice broke, “I’m sick, Sho. I’m really sick, and it’s not normal.” For the first time, Sho saw actual tears of frustration in Nino’s eyes, “And there’s nothing you can do to change that. I’m not fake broken, Sho. I’m not taking about some bullshit like commitment issues. I’m really broken. And I could break you, too.”

Sho closed the distance between them, raising his hand to gently touch the bandage above Nino’s right eye. Nino sniffed, tears slipping down the sides of his nose. “Yeah, I can see that already.” Sho took a deep breath, “But you know, I found out recently that things don’t always stay the same. Just a couple of months ago, I thought I knew what my life was going to be like for the next five years. But then things changed. Maybe you’re broken right now, but that doesn’t mean you'll be broken forever.” Sho forced a small smile, “And I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet, but I’m kind of broken already.”

Nino closed his eyes, his next words echoing with a sense of finality through the small space of the closet, “I’ve worked in an office long enough to know that most things never really change. And I'm one of them.”

Nino opened the door and bolted down the hallway, and Sho couldn’t bring himself to chase after him. He sank to the floor, resting his head on his knees. _I should have just accepted the blow job_.

 

*

 

That night, Aiba and Jun took Sho out drinking. Sho was dimly aware of Jun staring at him with disapproval, and of Aiba sending wide-eyed looks of sympathy his way. He was also dimly aware of Jun looking painfully embarrassed when a tipsy Aiba climbed into his lap. But mostly he just focused on the bottom of his glass. Eventually, the two men managed to carry Sho home between them, even as Sho insisted on stumbling his way down the road, intermittently moaning “Ninnnnnooooooo” to the parking meters as he went.

Sho woke up around 2 AM, still dressed, unsure how he’d made it into bed. He was surprised by the lack of a cat sleeping on his chest or head. “Taroooooooo,” he howled plaintively. Starting to feel as though he might be sobering up, he headed to the kitchen for a drink. Only to discover Jun, Aiba, and Taro tangled in a complicated-looking embrace (and in various states of undress) on his couch. His heart ached resentfully at the adorable grouping. He managed to scribble “At convenience store” on a piece of paper and left it on the coffee table, slipping on a pair of shoes and closing the door softly behind him.

As he’d hoped, Satoshi was working the night shift. Satoshi nodded at him as he stumbled in, and Sho thought he could detect a gleam of sympathy in the man’s steady gaze. Sho bought a six-pack of beer, and Satoshi motioned him behind the counter. Sho sat on the floor behind the counter while Satoshi worked, the two men making their way through the pack together, Satoshi drinking covertly while he continued to serve the occasional, similarly-inebriated customers entering the store.

Sho’s plan succeeded---he drank enough that once he fell asleep (or rather, passed out again), he didn’t dream even once of Nino. Or dream at all. All was a black oblivion until he woke up the next morning in the middle of the soup aisle, a rice ball resting atop his chest.

“Nino!” he shouted, struggling to his feet, convinced that the younger man had just been near him. He tripped over his feet on his way to the store’s front window, which revealed the sight of Nino mounting his yellow bike across the street. Sho watched Nino peddle forwards, two plastic bags hanging from his bike’s handlebars. Then Nino stopped beside a mangy-looking dog tied to a parking meter outside the café across the street. Nino reached into one of the plastic bags and removed a small, collapsible plastic dish, carefully unfolding it and placing it in front of the thirsty-looking dog. From the other bag, Nino removed a bottle of water and filled the bowl, petting the dog gently as it lapped eagerly at the water. Then he biked off.

Sho pressed his face against the glass, already able to predict that he’d be throwing up at least twice before work this morning. But at least now he was certain of what he had to do.

Then Satoshi was at his side, passing him a plastic bucket. “You can puke in that,” he offered gently.

 

*

 

“You’re resigning?” Jun whispered hoarsely. Jun was clearly alarmed by the news, but he was still unwilling to raise his voice above the level of a loud whisper. Jun seemed to be sporting a look that could only be described as “hangover chic”; he wore a pair of large, rhinestone-bedazzled black sunglasses while sitting behind his desk.

Sho nodded, then quickly stopped. Even nodding hurt. “Yes,” he whispered back, “I can’t work here anymore.”

Jun flipped up his sunglasses, examining Sho’s face carefully. He flipped them back down, “Okay,” he shrugged, “If you don’t care about the company, then you should get out of here.” His next words were even softer, “But I really am sorry for how… _things_ … turned out, Sho.”

Sho smiled, an action that actually didn’t make him feel like vomiting. “Thanks Jun. I know you sent me to Aiba because you wanted to help me out.” Jun looked angrily uncomfortable but didn't deny Sho’s assertion. Sho stood up and moved to leave (and let Jun get back to his nap), but he paused with his hand on the doorknob, “Jun, I’ll recommend you for the position. But you have to soften up.”

Sho turned back to watch the thick eyebrows knit together. “Pardon me?” Jun drawled icily.

“You didn’t get the position before because you’re kind of…intense. And a perfectionist. And you come down hard on people who fail to live up to your standards. Actually, the board members are terrified of you. Just loosen up and charm them a little, and then once you have the job, you can run this place however you want.” Sho hesitated, as Jun’s eyebrows were looking more infuriated by the second, “And it wouldn’t hurt to let everybody else know what a sweet guy you are.”

Jun reached for a paperweight, as though contemplating throwing it at Sho. But then he slowly set it back down on the desk. “I’ll think about it,” he replied stiffly.

 

*

 

Aiba was in tears. Amazingly, the energetic man seemed unaffected by last night’s drinking, noisily offering Sho his apologies and consolations---and then his favorite kitten poster---in response to Sho’s announcement. Sho patted Aiba’s back awkwardly. “It’s not your fault, Aiba. I’m really, really grateful for the advice you gave me yesterday.” Aiba let out a fresh wail. “And just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean I’m giving up on Nino."

Aiba pulled back from Sho’s shoulder. “Really?” he asked, excitement creeping back into his expression. Sho nodded. Aiba went in for another hug, “That’s okay, then. I’m so proud of you.” Aiba was quiet for a few moments. “Sho-chan?”

“Yes?”

“How would you feel about a cosplay-themed going-away party?”

 

*

 

Sho didn’t want Nino to see what he looked like hungover (though if Nino had seen him with his face pressed against the linoleum floor in the middle of the soup aisle, the damage was probably already done), so he waited until the next day to make another trip to the basement. He steeled himself for the walk down the dark corridor, praying that this meeting would end better than his last visit to Nino’s office.

Nino’s office door was open. But Nino wasn’t listening to music. He sat with his back to the door, a scoring sheet in front of him. He twirled a pencil between his fingers. But he was staring blankly at the wall above his desk.

“Nino,” Sho knocked softly.

Nino started and spun slowly around. “Sho,” he nodded in greeting, his eyes wide and his voice uncertain.

Sho was happy to see that Nino already looked better than the last time he’d seen him; more of his bruises were starting to fade, and his face looked fuller, like he’d been eating. His face even had some color. Sho found it easier to smile, “I came to tell you that you don’t have to quit.”

Nino’s eyes narrowed, reminding Sho of Jun, “What are you talking about?” he responded, far too nonchalantly.

“You’re a pretty good actor,” Sho kept his voice casual, “but I know you think you have to quit. But it’s okay,” Sho straightened to try to make his shoulders look broader (or at least straighter), “because I resigned yesterday.”

Nino continued twirling his pen, but his eyebrows twitched at Sho's words. He swallowed before replying, “That’s probably a good thing. You’re not like any other managing executive I’ve met. You kind of suck at managing.”

“Hey!” Sho couldn’t help protesting, “I increased productivity in the Eastern district by 2.6 percent.”

Nino rolled his eyes, “Yeah, and you seemed really thrilled about it. All I’ve ever seen you do is sulk around the employee lounge. And what about that newsletter,” Nino’s voice was shaking slightly, and Sho could tell that he was talking to stop himself from doing something else, “you wrote, “Thank you all for the efficient quarter,” really inspiring stuff,” Nino tried to finish sarcastically, his eyes drifting down to the carpet.

Sho grinned, “Yeah, you’re right, I was wrong to take the job. But I’m trying to change.” Nino’s eyes flicked back up. Sho took a deep breath. “Actually, I came to ask you if you would come to my going-away party. It’s cosplay-themed.”

Nino raised a hand to his mouth, “I bet Aiba’s already got a costume picked out for me.”

“Well, he said something about a qipao.”

Nino laughed. Then he averted his eyes again, “You’re really making Aiba-chan’s dream come true. But...I don’t think it's a good idea for me to come.”

“I thought you might say that.” Sho took a pack of cards out of his pocket, “So why don’t we bet on it?”

Nino raised an eyebrow, examining the deck curiously as Sho passed it to him. He began shuffling the cards automatically, “What did you want to bet?”

“If I can pick the Joker out of that deck of cards, then you have to come to my going-away party.”

Nino’s hand slipped a little as he shuffled, causing the cards to catch against each other. “And if you don’t?”

Sho forced himself to speak calmly, “Then I’ll leave you alone, for good. I'll let go.”

Nino re-shuffled the cards. “Okay, it’s a deal,” he pronounced clearly. His face assumed the look of quiet concentration it usually wore when he was performing a card trick. Nino fanned out the deck, balancing it between his hands. “Pick a card,” he offered, turning his dark eyes up to Sho, “any card,” he whispered.

Looking nowhere but into Nino’s eyes, Sho reached out and withdrew a card. He flipped the card over and glanced down, a rush of pure happiness coursing through him. He didn’t know whether it had been Nino’s magic or his own, but he was staring into the face of the Joker.


	5. Chapter 5

Sho leaned against his living room window, moving the fateful playing card between his fingers. Unconscious of the now-habitual action, he continued to scan the alleyway outside for signs of Taro, hoping his cat would return before he left for work.

Sho sighed as the alleyway refused to reveal any sign of the small cat. Usually Taro would return home around sunrise, but lately Sho would only find Taro back in the apartment when he returned home from work; Taro would be in the kitchen, calmly eating the food Sho had left out for him, and upon Sho’s surprised exclamation he would turn to his owner with what Sho could swear was the cat-equivalent of a raised brow, _“What? It’s not like I don’t have a life outside of this apartment. Unlike you,”_ Sho imagined Taro responding. “He’s becoming a moody teenager,” Sho muttered to himself. _And he probably has a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend,_ Sho reflected with a twinge of jealousy, then smiled to himself. _I’m even jealous of my pet’s romantic success._

Sho tried to enjoy the sunrise, but he’d been seeing so many of them recently that even the early morning colors were starting to get a bit old. Since his resignation, Sho couldn’t sleep. Well, he _could_ sleep—it just meant being plunged into a series of vivid dreams starring—who else?—Nino. Nino running away. Nino being hit by a car. Nino lost in the forest. Nino being eaten by a giant Venus fly trap while Sho held on desperately to his foot, trying to pull him out. Nino coming by to tell him thanks a lot, but he’d decided that he was moving to the moon. Nino floating away into the night sky.

Sho would invariably wake up naked, his bed torn apart, and, for the past two weeks, his bedroom window opened, even on the coldest nights. That was how Taro was getting out of the apartment—he’d slip out through the window and down the fire escape at night before Sho woke up.

The first time Taro had left the apartment Sho had been frantic, taking the morning off to comb the neighborhood and even getting Satoshi to cover the neighborhood with hand-drawn “missing posters” of Taro (well, Sho had tried to post his own drawing of Taro, but Satoshi had stopped him when he saw the copies Sho was making at the convenience store). Of course, when Sho had finished canvassing the neighborhood, he’d returned home to find Taro sitting on the windowsill, nonchalantly licking his bottom.

Taro never failed to return home after his adventures, but Sho couldn’t help worrying about what might happen to him. In Sho’s mind, at least, Taro was still practically a kitten.

Sho let his forehead hit the window with a soft thud, closing his eyes wearily. According to Aiba, Sho was communicating his stress to Taro, who was acting out by refusing to remain in such an unstable home environment. Aiba had proposed a “pet revitalization session,” offering to bring Jun-chan over to talk some sense into Taro. Sho had declined, worried that any meeting between Taro and Jun-chan would end in a severely-maimed green parrot.

Taro wasn’t the only one who currently considered Sho’s home environment unstable. Only a few hours after his resignation, Sho’s voicemail had been full of messages—from his father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, sister, brother, seniors and juniors from his college. Apparently, the news that Sho was resigning with no future job prospects had traveled fast, and word on the street was that Sho was having some kind of nervous breakdown. Recently, Sho had been receiving almost daily gift baskets and encouraging greeting cards, all addressed as though to someone in crisis: “Every day is a new beginning,” “Sometimes we need a little more time to find our path,” and (Sho’s favorite so far), “The darkest hour is always before the dawn.”

 _Am I having a nervous breakdown?_ Sho wondered, his brows knitting thoughtfully as he continued automatically scanning the streets for signs of Taro. Although Sho had found it quite easy to resign, there was the pretty serious problem of no longer having a job…or any idea of what he was going to do with his life. He had money in savings, but he’d have to decide what to do soon. And he was having that recurring dream about living in a cardboard box in the park…what he wanted to do was play piano, but he couldn’t exactly make a career out of that, could he…?

Sho shook his head. No matter how he analyzed the situation, he couldn’t make himself feel that he’d made a mistake by resigning. What amazed him now was thinking of all the time he’d spent doing work that he couldn’t care less about. Sleepwalking through every day.

The only thing really bothering Sho right now was Nino’s disappearing act. Sho hadn’t seen Nino since he’d promised to attend Sho’s going-away party—apparently, Nino was coming to work every day, because when Sho (almost daily) called the IT department secretary, Kashiyuka, she always assured him that Nino was either in a meeting or had just been called to another office. And Aiba swore up and down that Nino was still attending the party, but that he had some “loose ends” he needed to tie up before meeting Sho again…

Sho frowned at the memory, staring down at the Joker in his hand with dissatisfaction. As was usual with anything involving Nino, there were too many things that didn’t add up.

For one, Aiba’s panic when he found out that he couldn’t reschedule Sho’s going-away party, which had immediately been set for four weeks from the day of his resignation (actually, the board was quite anxious to get Sho out of the office—apparently, footage had surfaced of Sho running through the company halls, as well as several requests for funding from HR that Sho had approved, including money for the procurement of a tailored business suit for Jun-chan). After trying to reschedule the week in vain, Aiba had mumbled something about that being a “difficult night” and started babbling about “cycles,” but then Jun had sent him a look and Aiba had shut up. When Sho tried to question Aiba, Jun jerked Sho back in front of the mirror and snapped at him to face forward while he was being measured; the three men were at Jun’s (terrifyingly luxurious and pristine) apartment, preparing their costumes for the cosplay party.

According to Aiba, this party was “absolutely crucial” to Sho’s success with Nino, and he “needed to look as sexy as possible” that night. Aiba had examined Sho for a few minutes, finally suggesting that Sho either go shirtless or wear a maid costume. He’d then happily revealed the several different maid costumes he’d prepared in advance.

However, Jun (not without a struggle) had braved the persuasive power of Aiba’s puppy dog eyes and insisted that Sho would be attending the cosplay party as a newscaster. “So wearing…like…a suit? Like I wear every day?” Sho had responded doubtfully.

Jun shook his head, his stern brow daring Sho to contradict him, “No. Not like the suit you wear everyday. A _fashionable_ suit. As in, picked out by me. And properly tailored.” Relieved not to be wearing a maid costume, Sho had agreed to Jun’s plan, perhaps too quickly (Aiba had sulked until an embarrassed-looking Jun had finally offered to let Aiba pick out his costume for the party, upon which Aiba couldn’t hide a slightly-smug smile, leading Sho to think that Aiba had planned something like this from the start).

Sho turned his head for a moment to stare at the suit where it hung from the curtain rod in his living room, pressed and ready for the party tonight. He had to admit that it did look good, if a little flashier than he usually dressed.

Eventually, Sho had resorted to leaving post-it notes on Nino’s desk, which was always unoccupied whenever he ventured down to the IT department. And every once in a while, he’d return to his office to discover a similar note on his own desk. Sometimes they’d say, _Stop leaving me notes where everyone can see them, you creep_ , but other times they’d say, _Hi Sho-chan_ , or _Are you practicing the piano lately?_ Sho had saved the notes and stuck them on his refrigerator, feeling (as he often did recently) like a lovesick teenage girl.

Satoshi hadn’t been any more help than Aiba or Jun in letting him know of Nino’s whereabouts. When Sho would race into the convenience store whenever he saw Nino’s yellow bike outside, Satoshi would only blink at him and say that Nino was on some other errands. Recently, Satoshi had taken to automatically intoning, “Nino says hi. He’s fine, and he’ll be at the party,” as soon as Sho entered the store (or whenever Sho happened to pass by him on the street). 

While Sho had been enjoying his time with Jun, Aiba, and Satoshi, Nino hadn’t been around, and Sho had found himself wondering several times over the last month whether he shouldn’t just forget all about Nino—what was it that he was so obsessed about, anyway? A rude IT guy, one who apparently couldn’t even stand being around him? Sho scowled down at the Joker at the thought, tempted to crumple the card in his palm.

But then, as always happened at this point in his thought process, Sho remembered—he remembered the line of Nino’s nose, Nino’s mean laugh, Nino’s kind laugh, the way Nino looked when he finished performing a magic trick (simultaneously proud and embarrassed), the way Nino could make even Jun relax, Nino’s high-pitched singing voice, the serious expression on his face when he was composing, the time he pushed Sho down and told him to look up at the sky. Sho caressed the Joker’s face with his thumb. _As expected, I can’t let him go yet_.

From his position slumped against the window, Sho suddenly let out a cry of surprise. He could see Taro in the alley below, approaching his building’s fire escape on the back of what Sho had at first mistaken for a small bear but had turned out (upon closer inspection) to be the most enormous black dog that Sho had ever seen. The dog was shaggy and incredibly powerful looking, and from what Sho could see of it from his vantage point, it was un-collared, and something about the shape of its face didn’t exactly look like a domestic breed. _A wild dog? An enormous wild dog roaming the city?_

Of course, only slightly less surprising was Taro’s position atop the beast’s back. From a reclined position, Taro swayed easily with the beast’s body, apparently quite comfortable taking a ride on the enormous dog. Sho’s eyes grew bigger as the dog seemed to pause under the fire escape. Taro massaged at the dog’s ears with his paws before lightly leaping onto the ladder and starting to climb up.

Sho ran to the bedroom to meet Taro at the window, seizing the cat as soon he reached the windowsill and shutting the window behind him. Then Sho hurried back to the living room for another glimpse of the dog, but, to Sho’s amazement, the beast was already no where to be found in the long alleyway.

Sho wanted to scold Taro, but the cat was already purring contently in his arms and rubbing his head against Sho’s shoulder. “What kind of crowd are you running around with?” Sho murmured. He scratched Taro’s ears as he headed to the kitchen to make breakfast, “I hope you had your fun with that guy last night, because tonight I’m seeing him, and maybe we’ll be able to start sleeping properly in this house again.”

 

*

 

Sho had to admit—it seemed like Aiba really knew how to throw a party. Or at least, the company employees, usually slightly gray and bored-looking, had responded to Aiba’s cosplay challenge with unprecedented fervor. Sho couldn’t even recognize most of his employees in the darkened room with a disco ball glittering overhead; the room was crowded with superheroes, anime and movie characters, princess gowns and various degrees of undress as people put their own “sexy” spin on the most tasking of employments (nurse, secretary, police officer, etc.). 

_I guess everyone enjoys pretending to be someone else,_ Sho thought, smiling as he spotted Naka Riisa, the head of accounting (who Sho had taken a liking to, not least for her uncanny resemblance to Nino), DJ-ing at the turntable at the front of the room. When he noticed that she was wearing a pair of headphones with “DJ Riisa” spelled out in tiny gems on the sides, Sho revised his thought: _Or maybe this is who everyone really was all along_. Sho didn’t regret the financial carte blanche he’d given Aiba for this party, but it was a good thing he was resigning, because it was probably a fire-able offense. He got the feeling that Aiba and Riisa must have pulled some major strings to get the open bar. It was only eight, and employees were already beginning to look drunk and disorderly.

Even as Sho surveyed the scene with interest, however, every nerve in his body was waiting for the moment when he would finally spot Nino in the crowd. _What would he be wearing?_ Sho wondered, slightly more excited by the idea of Nino in a qipao then was probably decent. Would he lock eyes with Nino across the room, Nino’s face lighting up when he saw Sho? Actually, Nino would probably scowl and look away, but still start walking towards him nonetheless. Sho’s heart started to race at the thought, and he sternly commanded himself to not just pounce on Nino as soon as he saw him. _Be cool, Sakurai-san_ , he ordered himself. Then he remembered the soup aisle, and decided to revise his self-command, _Just try and be normal for a few minutes, okay Sho?_

While he continued scanning the crowd for Nino, he noticed an unfamiliar office lady with dark hair heading towards him. She was dressed as an angel in a white gown, a sparkly tinsel halo attached to her head.

It was only when the angel was within two feet of him that Sho realized that the employee was not an unidentifiable office lady but, in fact, Jun. Sho gaped. Jun looked murderous, “You told me I should show the employees my softer side, Sakurai-san,” he hissed. 

Sho nodded slowly. “That’s true,” he managed, finding his voice, “but…”

However, all became clear when Aiba suddenly bounded up to them, Jun-chan on his shoulder. Aiba was dressed all in red, apparently as a (disturbingly adorable) devil. He wore a long tail and a headband with sparkly red horns attached. He even carried a plastic pitchfork in one hand, and Jun-chan wore his own (tiny) matching pair of horns. Aiba was vibrating with even more excitement than usual, clearly on some kind of employee revitalization-induced high—it was the party Aiba had always dreamed of, and it was a hit. “Look Sho-chan!” Aiba crowed, “Isn’t Jun cute? Jun and I are going to win for best pair look! And even Jun-chan’s a part of it,” Aiba pointed at the parrot eagerly, “He’s my minion!” he proclaimed proudly, looking ready to pass out from sheer joy.

“You two look amazing,” Sho responded with a smile, caught up in Aiba’s infectious happiness. “But…uh…what made you decide to dress up as a devil?”

Aiba shrugged, sending Sho a slightly less-innocent smile. “Being bad is just so fun sometimes, isn’t it Sho-chan?” he asked, eyes glinting.

“Uh…I guess so?”

That seemed to satisfy Aiba, who (along with Jun) proceeded to look at Sho critically. It really was just a very fancy suit, the only hint of his “newscaster” character the small foam microphone attached to his lapel. Jun nodded in satisfaction, “You look good. After all, I picked it out.”

“Yes, Sho-chan looks dashing! Nino will definitely fall for you when you play the piano dressed like that.” Sho had prepared what he liked to think was a grand romantic gesture (Aiba had assured him that Nino would love it, and even Jun had given his approval)—a song on the piano that he wrote for Nino, one he was sure that Nino would recognize was for him. Aiba had even taken special care to make sure there was a keyboard for Sho to play at the party.

But then Aiba’s smile dimmed, and he looked slightly uneasy, “Um, Sho, Nino’s not here yet…he’ll probably be a bit late.” Sho felt himself deflate, and he didn’t miss the piercing look that Jun shot Aiba’s way. Jun opened his mouth to speak. “But he’ll be here,” Aiba rushed to talk over Jun, “I know that he can _definitely_ make it. I _believe_ in Nino,” Aiba stared Jun down, clearly directing his speech at the angel rather than at Sho. 

Sho wanted to ask more, but he found himself ambushed and carried away from the (now quietly arguing) Jun and Aiba by Kashiyuka, Nocchi, and A-chan, the three dressed as some girl group that Sho didn’t recognize and insisting that they had a farewell performance prepared for Sho.

Along with the rest of the department, Sho watched and applauded the three’s (surprisingly good) farewell song and dance (they’d taken the lyrics to a popular song and changed the chorus to “We’ll miss you, Sakurai-saaaaaan”). Sho found himself making the rounds of the (increasingly-intoxicated) employees at the party, most of whom he didn’t recognize but who patted him on the back, telling him he really had balls to give up such a high-paying job in this economy. The whole time, Sho was waiting for Nino to appear in his peripheral vision, occasionally whipping around in hopes that the dark-haired superhero in black leather (or in the red qipao) passing by was, indeed, Nino. But Sho was always disappointed. As the hours passed and the party showed no sign of stopping and no sign of Nino, Sho felt his stomach starting to twist in disappointment. At ten, there was still no one for him to play for. 

The crowd finally delivered him back to Jun and Aiba, Aiba looking miserable and Jun looking annoyed. “Um, Sho-chan,” Aiba whispered softly as he approached, definitely the most apologetic-looking devil that Sho had ever seen, “I know that Nino really, really, _really_ wanted to make it…but Satoshi just came by…and…” Aiba seemed unable to continue.

“Is he okay?” Sho asked, alarmed by Aiba’s anguished expression.

“He’s fine,” Jun cut in, definitely the sternest-looking angel that Sho had ever seen. “Satoshi came by to say that Nino’s fine, but that…uh…circumstances…have made it impossible for Nino to come tonight, and Nino…Nino asked Satoshi to say goodbye for him.” Sho felt himself going numb. “They left you these farewell gifts,” Jun continued, passing two manila envelopes to Sho.

Sho reached for the envelopes automatically, not exactly sad (not yet, anyway) but stunned that Nino couldn’t even be bothered to come up with an excuse for not coming. And that Nino considered this goodbye. And that Nino had broken his promise.

Sho opened the envelope labeled “To Sho-chan, from Satoshi” first, pulling out a drawing done in colored pencil of Nino crouching on top of a pedestal, wearing nothing but his underwear and sporting a tail and dog ears, his tongue sticking out. Sho stared at the drawing dumbly for a few seconds before looking up helplessly at Jun and (an even more miserable-looking) Aiba. Jun rolled his eyes and grabbed the drawing from Sho’s hand, stuffing it back into the envelope, “What was he thinking…” Jun grumbled.

Sho looked at Aiba as if unsure what to do next. Aiba put a hand on his shoulder and suggested quietly, “Why don’t you open Nino’s gift, Sho-chan?”

Sho tore the second, un-labeled envelope open automatically, even less sure of what to expect from Nino then from Satoshi. He pulled out a stack of sheet music, noting the title on the first page, “The Endless Sky.” There were lyrics written in below the musical notes. But Sho’s attention was absorbed by the letter on top. He started to read it eagerly, still hopeful that it would somehow explain away the broken feeling in his chest.

_Hi Sho,_  
Looks like I broke my promise. I break promises all the time, actually. It’s the kind of guy I am. Knowing that, I hope you realize that you’ll be a lot happier if you forget about me after this. But since I didn’t even show up, I thought I should at least give you something. I never did hear you play the piano, but in any case, now you’ll have at least one song that no one else has ever heard before. Even though I’m like this, I know you keep your promises, Sho, so remember—you said you wouldn’t look for me again.  
Nino 

Sho folded up the note and put it in his pocket. He flipped through the pages, reading the lyrics. He realized that Jun and Aiba had moved to stand beside him, so that Jun was looking over his right shoulder while Aiba was looking over his left. The papers were trembling in his hands, and he realized that his face was wet. He raised a hand to wipe the furious tears from his face.

Jun started immediately, “Remember what you promised, Sho. Just leave it. You’d be crazy to still want to find him after this.”

Aiba instantly protested, “No Sho-chan! Look at what he wrote for you! He still cares about you, right? He’s trying to tell you that he loves you in this song! Don’t give up!”

“What he’s _trying_ to tell you is to leave him alone and start over again without him. He hasn’t seen you in a month, and he didn’t even want to see you tonight. He tramples all over your feelings and doesn’t even apologize.”

“Nino-chan would never do that! Even if he thinks you’d be better off without him, he still wants you! Go after him, Sho-chan! No matter how many times it takes! Follow your heart!”

“Listen to your brain!” Jun urged.

“Heart!” Aiba countered loudly.

“Brain!” Jun snapped back.

Sho stepped away from the two. “Just shut up for a minute so that I can think!” he shouted. Aiba and Jun, who were currently arguing from about five inches apart, turned to Sho with identical expressions of surprised embarrassment.

Sho took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He tried to imagine what Nino’s song would sound like, trying to play the notes inside his head. He opened his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jun,” he offered with a slight bow, “Thanks for the suit and all the advice, but I have to go with my gut on this one.”

Ignoring both Jun’s muttered, “You’re making a huge mistake,” and Aiba’s triumphant cry of “Yes! Go Sho-chan! Go!” (accompanied by Jun-chan’s excited squawking), Sho turned on his heel and bolted from the party.

 

*

 

As Sho had expected, Nino’s yellow bike was chained up outside the convenience store. He skidded in through the doors, stopping to catch his breath in front of the cash register. As usual, Satoshi looked unfazed by his sudden appearance, responding to his entrance only with a small smile.

“Where’s…Nino?” Sho panted, “And don’t lie, I know you know where he is.” Sho had no idea if this was true, but it seemed like an appropriately forceful thing to say.

Satoshi’s smile stretched into a grin. “You saw my drawing? You finally figured it out?”

Sho had no idea what Satoshi was talking about. Was he supposed to have figured out something, beyond the fact that Nino possibly liked to pose for Satoshi in his underwear? “Uh…yeah,” Sho agreed, hoping that Satoshi would let him know where Nino was quickly, “Yeah, I figured it all out. So where’s Nino?”

“The last time I saw him he was headed for the alleyway out back. He’s probably still in the area. Don’t be afraid, Sho. Just find him.”

“Uh…okay…” Sho replied, suddenly hesitating. _Don’t be afraid? Did that mean that Nino was in trouble?_ If that was case, then Sho had to find him quickly. He could ask questions later. Sho started running again, heading for the exit at the back of the store’s storage room (he’d been in there drinking with Satoshi a few times).

He made his way out into the pitch-black alley, struggling to adjust his eyes to the darkness so that he could search for Nino. At least there was a full moon tonight, shedding a hazy white light over the scene. Without stopping to think, Sho began walking the back alleys of the neighborhood, driven forward by the uncanny sensation that Nino was somewhere close by.

Then the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he felt his flesh crawl. Someone was near by, but he didn’t think it was Nino. Sho gasped as a hand grabbed his neck, and his face was slammed into the brick wall of the alley. He heard the click of a switchblade near his ear. “Your wallet,” a voice growled.

“Okay,” Sho breathed, “okay, just let go of my hand and I’ll take it out.” The assailant released his painful grip on Sho’s right hand. Sho tried to remain calm, carefully taking his wallet out of his back pocket and opening it for the mugger to see. “There, that’s what I have,” Sho tried to speak as clearly as he could with his face still pressed against the wall, “I haven’t seen your face, so just take it and go.” The wallet was snatched from his hand. But instead of releasing him, Sho felt the knife pressed closer to his neck, and a sudden weight on his back. “Wait, what are you doing?” Sho cried, trying to struggle out of the grip of his (much larger) attacker.

“Shut the fuck up and hold still,” a sickening voice breathed into his ear, pressing the knife against his neck. Sho started moving his foot in between his attacker’s legs, planning to try to trip him and kick his legs out from under him, when both men were arrested by the sound of a low, vibrating growl. 

The growl grew in volume and intensity, and suddenly there was an explosion of ferocious barking and the weight behind Sho disappeared. He turned to find his attacker wrestling on the ground with the largest dog that Sho had ever seen—with a shout of surprise, he realized that it was the same massive black dog he’d seen Taro with this morning. The dog was tearing mercilessly at the man’s face, chest and arms, continuing to bark as the man struggled to his feet and stumbled away, blood flowing down his face and staining his t-shirt.

When the attacker was out of sight, the dog, still growling softly with Sho’s wallet in his mouth, turned to face Sho. The growling ceased, and the black dog—Sho realized that its face was actually more wolf- than dog-like—trotted towards Sho, stopping in front of him and smelling the hand hanging limply at Sho’s side. He pushed the wallet into Sho’s hand, and Sho dazedly returned the wallet to his pocket. Then the animal started licking his hand enthusiastically.

Sho moved his trembling hand and started petting the wolf / dog’s face gently. “Good boy,” he said in a slightly-shaking voice, “Good boy. Really, really, really good boy. You saved me.” Sho continued petting the dog, who was leaning his face into his hand and curling around his legs as though he were a cat. Sho attempted to pull himself together, trying to figure out what to do first. Find Satoshi and call the police? Or call a vet? The dog might have been hurt in the fight. 

Sho felt a gentle tugging on his suit coat, and looked down to find the dog trying to pull him towards one end of the alley. He started to resist, but then he looked into the animal’s dark brown eyes and froze. He’d stared into those eyes many times before, and he’d seen that exact expression staring up at him once before.

“Ni…Nino?” he croaked. _Oh my god_ , the thought flashed across Sho’s mind, _I really am having a nervous breakdown_.

The dog gave a small bark in response, and, as though hypnotized, Sho began stumbling along as the dog pulled him forward. His mind racing too fast for him to think, Sho continued following the enormous dog through the alleys. Occasionally, he’d stop in confusion, trying to wake himself up out of his delusion, but then the dog would turn around to look back at him, patiently trotting back and tugging at his suit to get him to start moving in.

At some point, Sho dimly realized that they were heading towards a very bad part of town, and then into a very bad park—the kind of park that homeless people and junkies slept in at night. Continuing to nudge his legs and lick at his hands insistently, the animal led him to a small clearing in the middle of a copse of trees near the edge of the park. Sho stood in the middle of the clearing in a daze, almost afraid of what he would see if he stared into the animal’s dark eyes again. 

The dog kept licking at his hands and pushing his head against his knees until Sho finally relented with a sigh. “Okay, okay I got,” he muttered, falling to his knees, only to be promptly pushed to the ground as the wolf climbed on top of him, “Gahh, you’re crushing me,” he grumbled. But once he was on the ground, the dog moved off of him to press himself against Sho’s side, resting his head on Sho’s shoulder, his warm breath and the body heat radiating off of him making Sho feel as though he were resting underneath a down comforter.

Sho gritted his teeth, closing his eyes tightly and bracing himself to return the animal’s gaze. _This can’t be happening. This can’t be real_ , he chanted. He opened his eyes and forced himself to look into the animal’s eyes, which were staring up at him anxiously.

“Oh my god,” Sho groaned, throwing an arm over his face, “I must be dreaming.” Nino—Sho couldn’t stop himself from thinking the name—pushed at his arm until he dropped it back to the ground. Then he licked gently at his chin. 

Sho didn’t know if it was the dog’s insistent licking, the animal’s heavy, calm breaths, the fact that Sho had barely slept last night, or some form of shock, but before he knew it, he’d fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep, curled up beside a wolf in the middle of a park.

Only to wake up the next morning with his hand on the ass of a very pale, very cold, and very naked Nino, asleep on top of his chest.


	6. Chapter 6

Glancing down to find Nino sleeping soundly on his chest, his breaths deep and even, Sho decided to take the opportunity that had presented itself and squeezed lightly. Nino twitched a bit and sort of sighed, but he only held onto Sho tighter. So Sho squeezed a little harder, spreading out his fingers to get a better grip. Nino gave what sounded like a low whine and squirmed to press his face into the side of Sho’s neck, nosing the vein there. Sho smiled at Nino’s response and the feeling of warm breath on his neck. He tucked his chin down to brush his lips against Nino’s forehead, and then he noticed the bruises on the side of Nino’s face and a long scratch running from his ear to his mouth. He remembered the knife from last night. Startled, he quickly brought his hands to Nino’s face, turning his head so that he could examine the scratch more carefully.

Then Nino really did wake up, opening his eyes slowly and staring up at Sho unfocusedly for a few moments. Sho actually saw the moment of dawning realization—Nino’s brown eyes flashed, and Sho knew he wanted to run. So Sho wrapped his arms tightly around his chest and pulled him back to the ground. “Thank you for saving me last night,” he rasped, his throat sore from the night spent outdoors.

Nino shuddered involuntarily, and it hit Sho that, without the heat provided by the shaggy black wolf (holding Nino now, it was hard to believe that he and the enormous dog could really be one and the same), it was freezing out—he’d woken up just as night was fading, and the park was a quiet, chilly gray in the early dawn light. 

Sho was happy that Nino didn’t try to escape his grasp. Because after last night, he was definitely entitled to an explanation, he reflected. After all, Nino had broken his promise to attend the party. He should at least get an apology.

Nino cleared his throat before mumbling hoarsely, “This is…embarrassing.” His voice was muffled by Sho’s chest.

“Because you’re naked?”

“Actually, I was thinking of the werewolf thing. But take your hand off my ass and let me go.”

Sho removed his hand with reluctance but kept his arm around Nino. “I’ll let you go if you promise to stay.”

Nino was quiet for a few seconds. “Okay, I promise. Though I don’t know why you’d believe me,” he muttered. Sho opened his arms and Nino sat up, kneeling on the grass beside Sho. For the first time, he seemed to notice his nakedness and frowned, looking away quickly. Sho took off his jacket and gave it to Nino, who accepted it with a stiff, “Thank you.”

Sho sat up to kneel in front of him. “Let me look at your face for a second. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Nino flinched away from his hand. Then he stared at Sho, his eyes a mixture of exasperation and—Sho was certain—hope, “How can you be so calm about this?” he scowled, his voice rough.

Sho considered this. He realized that he should probably be feeling extremely upset right now. Hysterical even. He should be doubting his own senses, convinced that he was insane. But mostly he just felt happy that Nino probably hadn’t meant to break his promise last night. And that he’d been able to sleep with Nino. And see his ass. And that Nino was still here. Then something occurred to him, “It’s just that you’re a…” Sho hesitated, not sure what the politically correct term was, “…can I say…werewolf?”

Nino nodded, his eyes starting to warm up as his mouth twitched in amusement.

“…so you’re just a werewolf, right? That’s the explanation? There’s not anything else?”

Nino rolled his eyes, but he was starting to smile, “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I just want to be sure,” Sho responded carefully, “Because, honestly, I thought that you were either dying of a rare disease or that you were a crack whore, so right now I just feel kind of…relieved. And I already know you get along with Taro, so that won’t be a problem,” he added on a sudden inspiration, recalling Taro’s recent late night escapades with Nino.

Nino made a noise halfway between a scoff and sob, his expression incredulous even as he inched closer to Sho, shivering as he leaned into him, “How can I like someone so weird?”

“You like me?” Sho smiled, moving to put his arms around him.

“Shut up.”

Sho was about to respond when a twig snapped nearby. Both men froze at the sounds of voices and rustling in the trees. To Sho’s surprise, Nino stood up quickly, grabbing Sho’s hand with his smaller one, “This way,” he ordered quietly, pulling Sho deeper into the woods.

Sho trailed behind obediently as Nino led him along the edge of the park, trying not to stare too much at Nino legs beneath his suit jacket (he kept hitting his head against tree branches whenever he looked down, and Nino wouldn’t even glance back to find out the reason for Sho’s occasional whimpers of pain). Finally, they reached the edge of the park, Nino positioning them carefully behind some trees a few paces from the road. Nino peeked around to study the nearly vacant street. “I end up at this park a lot,” he murmured, “It’s surprising but I usually have less trouble in the bad parts of town. No one cares enough to notice, I guess,” he explained distractedly as he studied the street. “Do you have your cell phone?” he turned to Sho hopefully. Sho took it out of his pocket and discovered that the battery was dead. Nino frowned, “I guess it couldn’t be that easy.”

Sho felt a painful throb in his chest as it dawned on him that this must happen to Nino regularly—he must wake up naked and alone in different parts of town and have to find his way home. Sho recalled Nino’s bruises and scratches and felt his throat constrict. Sho suddenly wished that there was some way that he could attach himself to Nino, so that he’d always know where Nino was and be able to protect him. _Oh. Kind of like a leash,_ he realized, then made a mental note to never, ever share that thought with Nino. _He would definitely kill me._

Nino didn’t notice Sho’s agonized expression; he was too busy looking up and down the street. “Okay, I think it’s safe.” Nino turned to him with a small smile, his expression surprisingly cheerful, “Actually, I guess I don’t have to worry that much now that you’re here. There’s a phone booth down the street, call Oh-chan and he’ll come and get us. Tell him we’re at the east park—he’ll know where to meet us.”

Sho wanted to ask Nino how he usually made his way to the phone booth but bit back the question. He could ask later. What he needed to do right now was to keep Nino to himself; if Satoshi came, Nino might slip away again without an explanation. Sho cast around for some pretext to put off calling Satoshi, and their morning together must have been fated because Sho’s glance fell on a seedy-looking love hotel down the street. He nodded towards it, “Let’s go there first. We could get cleaned up and sleep for a couple more hours before calling Satoshi. I’ll get some stuff from the convenience store, and we can disinfect your cuts.”

Nino looked at him skeptically. “We can do that at Oh-chan’s…don’t you want to get out of here?’

Sho grabbed Nino’s shoulders, making sure that the younger man was giving him his full attention, “Nino, I just spent last night asleep in the middle of a park with a wolf. A _wolf_. A _wolf_ that turned out to be _you_. And it’s the first time I’ve really been able to sleep in weeks. Because worrying about you has been making me crazy. I could be crazy right now. So I’m going to need a lot more explanation from you before I’m ready for me, you, and Oh-chan to go out for pancakes and laugh over all this.” Nino opened his mouth to protest, but Sho cut him off, “And you still haven’t apologized for breaking your promise and missing the party last night.”

As Sho had expected, that remark made Nino just furious enough to stick around to argue with him, “I think you’re forgetting that I saved you from that pervert last night,” he growled. His eyes flashed, “and if you really want to go to that disgusting place, then at least give me some pants to wear.” Sho unbuckled his belt willingly. “Pervert,” Nino muttered accusingly as he accepted the pants, which were covered in dirt from Sho’s night outside. _Jun’s not going to be happy about that_.

“Jun’s going to have the vapors when he sees these,” Nino offered, noting the muddy state of the expensive pants before he put them on.

Sho’s eyes widened. “Can you…read minds?” he gasped. Sho paled at the thought, wondering if Nino had been able to hear his ever-so-slightly-less-than-decent thoughts about Nino’s legs. Or about Nino’s ass. Or about Nino’s mouth…

Nino smirked at him, “Don’t worry, Sho-chan, I can’t read minds. I just know that you could never have picked out something so tasteful by yourself. _That_ would be unbelievable.”

 

*

 

The world was a much stranger place than he had ever appreciated before, Sho reflected. It was suspiciously easy for a man dressed only in shoes, boxer shorts and a dress shirt—accompanied by a man in socks wearing suit pants and a jacket buttoned over his bare chest—to book a room at a love hotel at six in the morning. The clerk barely gave them a second glance before swiping Sho’s credit card and handing over the key (but he only seemed to be half awake). Sho sent Nino to the room while he went across the street to buy antibiotic ointment and band-aids, breaking into a run on his way back at the sudden thought that Nino could have just left during his absence (then again, where would he go dressed only in the top layer of Sho’s suit?).

But to Sho’s relief, he discovered Nino still in the room when he returned. The suit was neatly folded over a chair, and Sho could hear the sounds of a shower. Nino switched off the water when he heard Sho enter the room, peeking his head around to glance at Sho. Sho felt his heart almost implode at the sight of a dripping wet Nino, his black hair adorably plastered down across his forehead. Nino reached for a towel, wrapping it around his waist and stepping into the room while using another towel to dry his hair. Sho, flushing, fumbled with his purchases on the bed. Somehow being beside Nino indoors like this felt more embarrassing than waking up together in the park had.

“I bought stuff for us to eat….” Sho babbled nervously, unable to look directly at Nino as he approached, “there’s yogurt for me and some onigiri for you….”

Nino laid a hand on his shoulder, pushing slightly. “Go and take a warm shower, Sho-chan,” he said gently, “You’re so cold that you’re shaking.” Whenever Nino spoke to him in that concerned tone of voice (it was something Sho had experienced only a handful times), Sho felt like he would melt into a puddle in the middle of the floor.

“Okay,” he nodded quickly, almost fleeing into the bathroom where, despite the freezing temperatures of the morning, he opted for a cold shower. 

When Sho came back out, a towel wrapped similarly around his waist, he found Nino sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, eating the onigiri. And then Sho had the satisfaction of seeing Nino look up and turn bright red as his gaze fell on Sho’s chest and abdomen. 

Seeing Nino looking so flustered gave Sho the courage to sit beside him and push his hair back, examining the cut on his face. Silently, he uncapped the ointment and carefully applied it to the cut with his finger, then gently placed two band-aids across his face. He looked for any other scratches on Nino’s chest, arms, and back, applying more ointment and sticking on another band-aid wherever he found one. 

Nino held still and watched Sho silently as he worked. When Sho had finished, Nino moved to his knees and kneeled over Sho. He roughly towel-dried Sho’s hair and then started gently running his hands through the strands to smooth them out of Sho’s face. Sho watched Nino’s intent expression while enjoying the pressure on his scalp and the occasional feeling of Nino’s nails lightly scratching his head. When Nino was finished, the two crawled under the covers together, Sho looking dubiously at the hideous orange-flowered pattern of the coverlet even as he carefully tucked the two of them underneath the sheets, reaching out to wrap an arm around Nino and pull him close. They were so near that Sho felt like he and Nino were sharing the same breath.

Nino laughed at Sho’s expression as he studied room, “This is a paradise compared to how this usually goes,” he offered softly, “I usually end up waiting behind a dumpster or in an abandoned building until Oh-chan can find me.”

Sho felt what was becoming a familiar pain in his chest at Nino’s words. But he tried to keep his voice calm as he asked, “So what happens? You’re a wolf at night and turn back in the morning?”

Nino nodded, “Not always every night, but during the week leading up to the full moon, and on the night of the full moon itself, then yeah, I’m pretty much a wolf from sunset until dawn.”

Sho shook his head, unable to even begin processing how bizarre this conversation was. He wouldn’t have been able to believe it was happening if it weren’t for Nino’s warm, solid presence beside him. “And Satoshi always finds you and takes you home?”

“Some of the time. If I can hold myself together enough, or if I follow the right scent, I can usually get pretty close to my apartment. But sometimes I’ll get distracted by another scent, and I’ll follow it to the other side of the city. But I still usually end up in the same places, I look for the spots I’ve been before. I’ve only woken up someplace totally unfamiliar a couple of times,” Nino shivered slightly, his eyes suddenly distant, and Sho had the feeling that he never wanted to hear about those experiences.

He held Nino tighter. “You said that sometimes you can hold yourself together. What do you mean? When you’re a wolf, do you…” Sho struggled to find the words for his question, “…have all the same thoughts and feelings? Or are you like…a different animal?”

Nino frowned, raising the back of his hand to rub at his face in frustration, “I don’t know. It’s kind of in-between. It’s weird. Sometimes I’m really lucid and it’s like I’m myself, just in the body of a wolf, but most of the time it’s like I’m half there—what I’m mostly aware of are smells and tastes, not my thoughts. It’s something I’ve been trying to improve lately, but I can’t really get the hang of it,” Nino mumbled the last few words, looking unhappy, so Sho tried a different question.

“How long?”

“Since I was seventeen. I don’t know why it happened, genetics I guess, though I never knew my father, so I can’t really be sure.” Nino gave him a small smile, “Aiba was there for the whole thing, he helped me get through it when I first started changing every month. I thought the only reason he was able to deal with it was because he’d known me since we were kids, but that maniac would be happy to be Dracula’s friend.” Nino rolled his eyes, “Though now that I’ve seen your lack of a reaction to the whole thing, I’m starting to think that I just attract freaks.”

Sho smiled, happy that Nino seemed to be cheering up (and easily picturing an enthusiastic young Aiba helping his werewolf friend), “So, has Aiba ever seen you change? I bet he would love to pet you while you were a wolf,” Sho laughed, but immediately regretted his question when Nino’s smile disappeared. 

Nino turned so that his back was facing Sho, taking a deep breath before answering. “Yes, he saw me change once.” Nino licked his lips before continuing, “He thought it would be okay, and he wanted to help me. I’d get hurt every time it happened, either because I’d be fighting with other dogs or end up fighting with people, so Aiba said he would try to stay with me while I was a wolf.” To Sho’s dismay, Nino seemed to be folding into himself, his eyes squeezing shut as he continued, “But I attacked him after I changed. I clawed his chest, and he was only just able to escape. He still has scars from it. I could have…killed him,” Nino’s voice was tight as he finished.

Sho didn’t know what to say, but he wanted to stop the way Nino seemed to be drifting away from him even as they lay beside each other. He pressed a hand softly against Nino’s back, “But you didn’t. And you were only seventeen, right? You can probably control yourself better now.”

“You don’t know anything about it,” Nino bit out quickly in response, his voice frightening in its quiet anger.

Sho swallowed, “Yeah, I guess not. But you didn’t hurt me last night, you saved me,” he finished shakily.

Nino turned back around, his voice becoming gentle again. “I’m sorry, Sho. I just get so…scared…when I remember it.” Nino closed his eyes, “And that’s why I’ve been trying to tell you that this isn’t a good idea. At least, I never want you to be around me when I’m a wolf again.”

“So I can be with you when you’re not a wolf?”

Nino opened his eyes, unable to suppress a small smile even as he raised a hand to smack Sho across the top of his head, “Idiot. You always focus on the wrong part of whatever I’m saying.”

Sho smiled, folding Nino back into his arms and speaking with his lips against his forehead. “So it started in high school, and Aiba’s known since then. And Satoshi knows?”

Nino nodded, relaxing in Sho’s arms. “Yeah, I met Ohno years ago, when I was twenty, I think. There’s kind of a whole werewolf community—we run into each other a lot every month—and word gets around. Ohno’s famous. He’s the only werewolf I’ve ever met that can change and stop himself from changing at will.”

Sho pulled back to gape at Nino. “ _Satoshi’s_ a werewolf?” It was almost impossible for Sho to imagine the sleepy-eyed, part-time janitor, part-time clerk, full-time amateur artist as a terrifying animal like the one he’d seen last night.

Nino grinned at Sho’s astonishment, “Yes, and when he changes he’s _really_ scary. Last night was nothing compared to him.” Nino’s expression turned serious, “But he can control it. Even when there’s a full moon, he doesn’t have to change unless he wants to. A lot of people can control it to some degree, or they can make themselves stay lucid the whole time, but he’s the only one who can stop himself from changing at will. He says that all you have to do is remain calm, get a lot of sleep, and not worry about the future and then it’s no problem, but that hasn’t really been working out in my case,” Nino finished, his tone bitter.

Seeing the frustration in Nino’s eyes, Sho voiced his next question cautiously, “So…you’ve been trying to control your…changes?” he finished uncertainly.

Nino suddenly looked embarrassed, pressing his face into Sho’s shoulder so that his voice was muffled as he answered, “For the past month. Oh-chan’s been teaching me, and I thought maybe I’d finally learn how to stop it. He said that first I should practice actually changing into a wolf at will, so I’ve been doing that almost every night for the past couple of weeks. And I was doing really well not changing this whole week—I could feel myself starting to master it. But then last night it came over me, and I couldn’t stop it.” 

Nino broke away from Sho’s grasp and flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling and avoiding Sho’s wide-eyed gaze, “And it doesn’t help that you’ve been making my emotions more…unstable…than usual.” Nino sighed before continuing, “Aiba told me he could still change the date of the party, but I told him not to. I thought that last night could be like a…test. If I could meet you even on the night of the full moon, then that would mean it wasn’t a problem anymore and we could…” Nino’s voice fell to an embarrassed whisper, “…be…together, or whatever.”

Within seconds, Sho was on top of Nino, kissing him desperately, kissing him senseless. He felt like his whole body was burning up as his chest exploded with happiness. Nino liked him. Nino wanted to be with him, or whatever. Nino, after a surprised, “Mmphgh,” was kissing him back, kissing him just as passionately, his hands tangling in Sho’s still slightly damp hair. When they were both too breathless to continue kissing, Sho rested with his lips against Nino’s. He groaned at the feeling of Nino’s leg pressing between his own, but before they continued he had to tell Nino something. He raised himself up to look down at Nino’s flushed face, looking even more beautiful to him than it ever had before. “Nino,” he gasped, collecting himself, “Nino, before we…I have to tell you…you don’t have to change for me. I don’t care if you don’t stop. I don’t like just one part of you—I like everything about you, I like the way you are now”

Nino scowled and closed his eyes tightly, and Sho had the sinking feeling that he was about to be yelled at. But then Nino opened his eyes, and he was crying. At first it was just tears slipping down his nose, but then he was really crying—snotty, noisy, hiccupping crying, which would have been really unattractive if it was anyone else, but Nino still looked strangely cute even as he was clearly annoyed about his display of emotion. Sho moved to lie beside him, holding him and stroking his back gently while he sobbed, feeling a few tears form in his own eyes.

After a few minutes Nino finished, wiping his nose against Sho’s chest, “Sorry. No one but Aiba’s ever said anything like that to me before, and he’s an idiot.”

Sho couldn’t suppress a grin. “So, Mr. “please ask yourself these two questions before consulting technical services,” you finally admit that I’m not an idiot?”

Nino snorted, “I wouldn’t go that far. You’re sort of an upper-level idiot.” He hesitated, “But I still like you,” he mumbled quietly into Sho’s chest. Nino raised his head, his eyes so full of sincerity that it made Sho’s heart hurt, and they kissed softly for a moment, both suddenly overwhelmed with tiredness. “Sho, is it okay if we just…sleep for a while?” 

Sho nodded, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over him, “Only if you promise to stay…”

“Then don’t let go of me, duh,” Nino murmured as he snuggled against Sho, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

 

*

 

They woke up two hours later to the insistent ringing of the room’s phone. Sho fumbled to press it to his ear, groaning as the clerk informed him that they were past their check-out time and that they had to clear out within the next ten minutes. Sho and Nino sleepily re-dressed in their makeshift outfits, smiling stupidly at each other as they took in their ridiculous appearance. Sho called Ohno, who responded with a calm, “I’ll be there in fifteen,” when he told him that he and Nino were near the east park, and the two walked back to the park, sitting beside each other at the foot of a particularly large tree while they waited. Sho couldn’t even bring himself to care that he was sitting in a public park in his boxer shorts—the feeling of Nino’s fingers intertwined with his made everything else seem of secondary importance.

“So, we’re really going to do this?” Nino asked, biting down on his bottom lip in a futile attempt to stop a smile.

“Yes,” Sho answered simply.

“But…this isn’t going to be easy. I mean, you can say it doesn’t matter if I’m a werewolf, but I’m still going to get kind of beat-up looking a lot, sometimes I’ll disappear and you might not know where I am for a couple of days…can you really handle that and not freak out or throw a first aid kit at me or try to feed me all the time or have whatever other Sho-reaction?” Nino lowered his eyes to study the ground as he continued nervously, “Because I don’t want you to be worried all the time…”

Sho stayed silent, considering. He couldn’t say that he wouldn’t worry about Nino. In fact, he would probably worry about him like crazy. He also couldn’t tell Nino that what he really wanted to do was to take care of him, because then Nino would freak out with some kind of Nino-reaction. “Can I ask you a few more questions?” he finally replied.

Nino looked up anxiously, “Okay,” he nodded slowly.

“Why do you get so thin during the weeks when you’re a wolf at night?”

Nino made a face of disgust, “I just hate eating so much raw meat,” he shuddered. “You expend an incredible amount of energy as a wolf, and you can’t help eating pretty much anything—squirrels, rabbits, whatever small animals you come across. But the next day I usually throw it all up. I hate even remembering it.”

“But you don’t try to eat…uh…people?” Sho asked, wishing he could think of a more tactful way to phrase it.

Nino shook his head, “No, I never have. Most of us can control ourselves enough not to attack people. Too much trouble, and it draws attention to us.” Sho made a mental note to try to ascertain from Nino at a later date just how many werewolves _were_ currently residing in the greater metropolitan area.

“But you never hurt Taro.”

“Well, he kind of…smells like you…” Nino mumbled, turning red as Sho looked delighted at his confession, “I knew he was your cat right away, you must sleep with him or something weird like that…who ever heard of a guy living alone with a cat…”

Sho decided to ignore the sleight to his manhood. “And you get all the bruises and cuts from other animals?” Nino nodded. “What about from other people?”

“Sometimes,” Nino replied evasively, looking away.

“Do they hurt you when you’re a wolf, or when you wake up as a human?”

Nino refused to meet Sho’s gaze, “Do you really want to know?”

Sho had to resist the urge to hit something, feeling the familiar twist in his chest. He took a few deep breaths before continuing, “Have you ever thought that it might be easier living in the country?”

Nino nodded, finally meeting his eyes again, “I did that for a long time. I could use the forest and the fields, but it’s harder to keep something secret in a small town. People notice you more, and I couldn’t keep a job for more than two months. I had to keep moving around. When Aiba got hired at Android, he told me that Jun could get me a job there. As long as the computers keep working, not many people in a huge company like that even notice the IT guys. I wasn’t lying when I said that there’s an IT fight club that meets in the basement every month.” Sho should have been shocked by this news, but after last night, he felt like he’d lost the ability to be shocked by anything. “Living in the city, it’s easier to get lost in the crowd, and Jun and Aiba can cover for me at work. Ohno moved to the city when I did—he watches out for me, too. I can never really repay them,” Nino finished quietly.

Sho nodded, reminding himself to thank Ohno for everything that he did for Nino later. But then Sho frowned as something occurred to him, “Wait, so how did you know Jun?”

“Aiba met him at the company and introduced me when I got here. Aiba knew right away that Jun would understand my problem.”

Sho couldn’t help feeling slighted. “So Aiba told Jun immediately but not me?” Sho knew he sounded petty, but he couldn’t keep the jealousy out of his voice, “And you trusted him with your secret but were ready to leave me forever rather than tell me?”

“You mean you haven’t figured it out?” Nino was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

“Figured what out?” Sho snapped in exasperation, already tired of being asked that question.

“Jun understands because he’s dealing with a somewhat related problem. You never noticed that Jun’s a vampire, Sho-chan?”

Sho’s jaw dropped, and for a moment he felt like he might faint. While sitting down. “You’re joking,” he managed helplessly, “you’re just making fun of me…Jun…how can he…I mean…” Apparently, Sho had retained his ability to be shocked by some things.

Nino smiled, obviously exalting in being able to tease Sho again, “Think about it, Sho. Have you ever seen Jun eat or drink anything?”

“Yes! We’ve even been out…drinking…” Sho trailed off, suddenly realizing that although they’d been at the bar together, he couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen Jun actually drink anything… “But he was hungover the next day!” Sho finally protested.

Nino smirked. “Are you talking about the night Jun stayed over at your apartment? He was feeling sick because he wasn’t able to feed that night. And he must have been going crazy with Aiba lying right on top of him.”

“But Jun…he and Aiba…I thought…”

“Aiba knows. On his first day at Android, he walked in on Jun draining a temp in the janitor’s closet. Of course, Jun’s completely obsessed with Aiba now, but he thinks that he has to protect Aiba from his perverse nature or something weird like that. And the whole time Aiba is dying for Jun to bite him—he practically throws his neck at him every chance he gets. I’ve been trying to get Jun to give into him for months…”

Sho could barely choke out a response, “I always knew Jun was scary, but I didn’t think he was…inhuman…”

Nino shrugged. “He’s kind of human. He just likes to get more out of his employees than most people.”

Sho was relieved when Satoshi showed up, looking precisely as sleepy and unconcerned as usual. Even though it was alarming to imagine the gentle clerk transformed into a wolf, at least right now he seemed to be the same Satoshi he had always known. Sho was starting to feel like the ground was shifting out from under his feet. Then again, that was also a feeling he got when he was kissing Nino…and it wasn’t so bad in that case…

The two men followed Satoshi to his car, Nino calling out “Shotgun!” and then laughing at the devastated expression on Sho’s face. “Hey,” he said, grabbing Sho’s hand and squeezing it, bringing Sho back down to earth, “I’m just kidding, Sho-chan. I want to be next to you.”

Sho smiled, “Then don’t let me go, duh,” he replied.

“Who’s up for pancakes?” Satoshi called over his shoulder.

“Me!” Sho and Nino shouted in unison.


	7. Chapter 7

“Pancakes” turned out to be something of an event, and it had apparently had to take place at Nino’s apartment because Nino (Satoshi explained) “had all the shapes.” Nino looked embarrassed while Sho was simply mystified by Ohno’s cryptic announcement; all became clear, however, after they had both changed (Sho squeezing himself into a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants that belonged to Nino), and Nino started pulling an assortment of different pans and molds from his kitchen cabinets. Nino had a truly astonishing collection of small plastic forms—hearts, stars, faces, flowers, cats, dogs—more than Sho could count at a glance.

Sho smiled as he watched Nino sorting the shapes while Ohno started assembling the ingredients for the batter, their motions so automatic as they moved around each other in the tiny kitchen that it was obvious that the two had made pancakes together many times before (Sho tried not to feel too jealous). Catching Sho’s curious gaze, Nino turned slightly red, scowling in Sho’s direction as if daring him to say anything and muttering under his breath that the molds “were just the cheapest ones at the store.” 

Sho had always thought that Nino was cute. But this Nino was _really_ cute. Sho wondered what he would find out about Nino next (perhaps he enjoyed knitting in his spare time? Or scrapbooking? Maybe he collected celebrity photographs?), feeling excited by the prospect of having things to tease Nino about.

Even Nino’s apartment was a surprise to Sho. The apartment was located behind a cramped, dirty-looking flower shop that faced out onto the street (Nino admitted that he loved the smell of flowers, and that the scent sometimes made it easier for him to find his way back). In many ways, the inside was as awful as Sho had expected—it was a tiny studio on the ground floor, and it seemed to be some kind of half-converted storage unit, with a cold concrete floor and plaster walls. But it wasn’t as messy as Sho had expected—there were an alarming number of games and magazines, but they were for the most part sorted neatly into boxes and arranged on shelves, and the plaster walls were covered with beautiful and strange drawings that Sho recognized as Ohno’s work (he was relieved not to find any more drawings of an unclothed Nino among the collection). In one corner, there was a carefully mounted guitar, and a keyboard similar to Sho’s. 

After his examination of the room, Sho wandered back to the tiny kitchen, feeling out of place as Nino and Ohno synchronized their actions perfectly in a culinary ballet of pancake-making. Noticing Sho’s lost expression, Nino smiled and told him to go to the shop to get some flowers to arrange. “Your treat,” he added quickly.

Sho smiled back, deciding that he’d text Aiba and Jun and invite them over for brunch.

 

*

 

No sooner had Sho texted Aiba than his inbox was flooded with messages, the most coherent of which was _GOOD NEWS!?!???!??!! T.T_

Good news, Sho confirmed. Immediately after hitting send, he received a _Congratulations_ text, the word sparkling brightly as colorful fireworks burst around it. Sho stumbled as he read it—the text was from _Jun_.

 

*

 

Aiba and Jun (well, mostly Aiba) descended on Nino’s small apartment like a whirlwind, Nino shooting Sho a half-annoyed, half-grateful glare when he opened the door to discover them (a very Nino-like expression, Sho noted). In spite of his energized demeanor, there were lines around Aiba’s eyes (“I was up all night thinking about you and Nino, Sho-chan”), and Jun was back in the rhinestone sunglasses and looking like he would love to strangle someone, preferably Sho (“I was up all night with Aiba,” he explained curtly). Nevertheless, Jun still offered Sho a small smile when Nino reached over to take Sho’s hand, and soon all five men were settled around Nino’s table, craning their necks to talk to each other around the enormous centerpiece that Sho had created out of the suspiciously wilted-looking flowers from the shop (somehow the display had become a little…elaborate...but Sho hadn’t actually done any flower-arranging since high school, and he realized that he might have lost his touch).

Aiba and Jun brought four bottles of champagne with them to celebrate, and Aiba, Ohno, Sho and Nino started slowly getting buzzed on mimosas while they ate pancake after pancake, all ingeniously decorated by Ohno using chocolate chips (Sho could never have imagined that a frowning “Jun” pancake, complete with thick eyebrows, could taste so sweet. Though he thought that Ohno had greatly-exaggerated the front teeth on the “Sho” pancake).

While they ate and drank, Jun sat back, playing with his phone and occasionally glancing up at Aiba, who was trying his best to get every detail of last night out of Nino, who was resisting only to be foiled by Ohno’s sudden pronouncements (“Sho was only wearing his underwear when I came to pick them up”). Watching Jun, Sho swallowed nervously, his eyes flicking involuntarily to the younger man’s canines.

Catching Sho’s gaze on his teeth, Jun growled and whipped off his sunglasses, revealing his bloodshot eyes. “Nino!” he hissed murderously, “you told _him?_ You made me swear to keep your secret, but you just go ahead and tell him my business?”

Nino, who was currently holding his hand over Ohno’s mouth to stop him from talking (while Aiba tickled Nino in hopes of getting him to give up and confess), turned to Jun with a helpless shrug. “Sorry J,” he managed breathlessly, convulsing with laughter as Ohno joined in the tickling, “it just kind of slipped out.”

“You’re dead,” Jun muttered, but his gaze was on Sho, watching for his reaction, almost…nervously? To Sho’s surprise, vampire Jun actually seemed slightly more…vulnerable…than non-vampire Jun.

“I won’t tell anyone, of course,” he offered quickly. 

“Of course you won’t,” Jun frowned, “I’m assuming that you have too much to live for now.”

Jun still looked dissatisfied, so Sho continued, “And I don’t…you know…think any differently of you…” (seeing Jun’s incredulous expression, he quickly backpedaled) “well, okay, yeah, I do think of you differently…but not in a bad way or anything…it actually….makes sense,” Sho fumbled. Jun’s expression started to soften slightly, so Sho pressed on, “But can I ask you a question?” Jun nodded slowly, his eyebrows raising. “How old are you?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m kind of wondering if I need to go back to calling you Matsumoto-san. I mean, if you’re a hundred years older than me…”

Jun gave a small laugh, looking relieved. “I really am twenty-three. We don’t live forever—that’s just a myth. We’re born and die just like non-vampires, our bodies just operate at a more highly-evolved level of existence,” Jun continued haughtily, “Rather than breaking everything down, we go straight for the pure stuff, our bodies running far more efficiently than a non-vampire’s body.”

Sho’s head was spinning. He made a mental note to ask Nino later what other kinds of “mythical” creatures also really existed. Should he be worried about gnomes stealing his underpants? Or leprechauns getting into his garbage? Or, god forbid, zombies? He shuddered at the thought. Werewolves and vampires, okay. But zombies…no.

“Oh,” Sho finally answered, unable to stop himself from glancing over at Aiba, who was currently working with Ohno and Nino at the other end of the table on a set of “smiling Jun” pancakes, slapping Nino’s hand away when he kept trying to add more chocolate chips to the eyebrows. Sho lowered his voice to a whisper, figuring the safest time to discuss this with Jun was probably when there were other people around, “So…if you live…sort of the same kind of life as…uh…non-vampires…what’s stopping you from confessing to Aiba-chan?” Sho couldn’t help but smile as Jun hastily put his sunglasses back on, trying to hide his embarrassed expression at the mention of Aiba’s name.

“Shut up, Sho-kun,” he groaned quietly. But Sho was certain he heard a note of uncertainty in Jun’s voice, so he went ahead, rather enjoying playing the role of matchmaker.

“Seriously, Jun,” he continued, “Nino told me that Aiba’s crazy about you. You two should definitely go for it.”

For a moment Jun looked elated, but then his scowl returned with a vengeance, “Masaki doesn’t know what he wants,” he muttered, “I think he’s just trying to expand into non-human resources. He thinks he can revitalize me,” Jun sighed and removed his sunglasses, glancing up at Sho. “So it really doesn’t bother you that Nino isn’t human?” he asked bluntly.

“No,” Sho answered immediately, “He’s Nino, right? That’s enough. And I think Aiba feels the same. You should give him more credit—he’s old enough to know what he wants, Jun.” Sho gestured toward the other end of the table, cringing a little to discover Aiba in what could not be described as a particularly trustworthy-looking state. There was melted chocolate smeared across his chin, and he was noisily slurping up the remains of his third mimosa. Suddenly noticing Jun’s attention, Aiba crawled towards him and started tugging on his arm, “Come on Jun-kun,” he slurred, pulling Jun forcefully to his feet, “Come see how good I am at the guitar.” Sometimes Sho wondered if Aiba was really human. Then it hit him that he and Aiba were, in fact, the only “normal” humans in the room. _A scary thought for the future of humanity_.

Nino scrambled to his feet and made a dash for the other side of the room as Aiba started reaching sticky fingers towards the instrument. “Shit Aiba, that’s expensive!” he cried, leaving Ohno and Sho alone together at the table.

Sho suddenly felt oddly nervous, as though he were about to ask Nino’s father for Nino’s hand in marriage or something. Taking another sip of mimosa, Sho tried to organize all the things he wanted to say to Satoshi into a fairly simple list: _Thank you for taking care of Nino. Please continue taking care of him. Is there anything I can do to help him?_

But before he could get a word out, Satoshi surprised him by speaking first. He spoke softly and calmly, his gaze intent on a new sketch he’d started working on (Sho didn’t know where the pen and paper had appeared from). “You saw Nino’s wolf form last night?” he asked.

“Yes,” Sho confirmed, going on to explain how Nino had saved him from an attacker. Satoshi was still and seemed to be listening intently even as he continued drawing. Sho had always thought of Ohno as merely sleepy or out of it, but with Nino’s words from the night before echoing in his head— _You should see Oh-chan when he changes. He’s really scary_ —he noticed for the first time the atmosphere of tense, coiled energy beneath the man’s apparent stillness.

“That,” Satoshi pronounced slowly, “is very interesting. But not completely unexpected. I have known Kazu for several years, and he is very difficult to be around when he is a wolf.” Sho resisted the urge to say that Nino was usually difficult to be around as a human, as well. “At first I tried changing with Kazu, thinking that if we were together I could protect him. But it’s very difficult to remain lucid in the presence of another wolf. When we’re alone, we can hold on to some rationality, some of our human life, but in a group our instincts go into overdrive. It was difficult even for me to control myself. And even though I’m the alpha,” Sho couldn’t help but be slightly awed by the calm way in which Ohno stated this, “Kazu has always had a problem with authority and the pack dynamic. He would even pick a fight with me, and I have hurt him when he challenged me.” Satoshi looked up at Sho, making eye contact briefly, “Did he tell you about Aiba?” Sho nodded, knowing that Ohno meant the time when Nino was a teenager that he had attacked Aiba. Sho found himself unable to speak, feeling overwhelmed by the usually-silent man’s sudden rush of speech.

“The fact that he didn’t hurt you is very important. It’s something that I’ve suspected for awhile. You’ve awakened Kazu’s dormant protective instincts.” Ohno turned to Sho with a gentle smile, pushing the paper towards Sho. Sho looked down to discover a drawing of a scene from earlier that morning: Nino and Sho sitting against a tree, Sho in boxer shorts and Nino in Sho’s suit, their hands entertwined. “Even as a wolf, Kazu still thinks of Sho-chan as his pet.” Sho’s jaw dropped. “So I’ll leave you in Kazu’s care from now on,” Satoshi finished, his eyes laughing at Sho’s horrified expression.

Before Sho could muster an objection to being described as Nino’s pet, he found himself pulled to his feet by Aiba, “Play your song for Nino, Sho-chan! He didn’t get to hear it last night.”

“Stop it Masaki,” Nino snapped, looking embarrassed and pulling Sho out of Aiba’s grasp. “You don’t have to listen to that idiot, Sho-chan,” he mumbled.

Sho smiled, “No, it’s okay. If you don’t mind listening, I’ll play.”

Nino’s eyes lit up, “Okay,” he replied simply, but Sho could tell from the way he avoided Sho's eyes that he was excited.

Sho moved (a little uncertainly) towards the keyboard, wondering if the mimosas would help or hinder his performance. He set everything up quickly, trying to ignore the way his heart was starting to race with nervousness. Before starting, he took a deep breath and snuck a quick glance to the side. Rather than his own reflection staring back at him, there were four faces watching him intently: Satoshi, leaning back against the wall with a calm but interested expression; Aiba, wearing a wide grin while kneeling with his hands trapped beneath his knees as if trying to suppress his own excitement; Jun, who had taken off his sunglasses again and was sitting so close to Aiba that their thighs were touching, looking back at Sho with what could only be described as an encouraging expression; and, finally, Nino, sitting farther away from everyone else with his legs crossed, his gaze fixed on the floor before he finally looked up at Sho, his dark eyes full of something that could only be described as love. Sho smiled. He was ready to play.

 

* * *

 

Most of the time, being together with Nino was easy. The more that Sho learned about Nino, the more he liked him, and Nino acted as if it was equally easy for him to like Sho, attaching himself to Sho’s side like (Sho couldn’t help but think it) an excited puppy as soon as he came home from work in the evening. Within weeks, Sho was living in Nino’s apartment, his lease cancelled and his furniture in storage while he searched for a job and worked at the convenience store with Satoshi part-time.

And Taro had accepted his new roommate surprisingly easily. While he usually hissed at anyone other than Sho, he had immediately walked over to Nino the first time he came over and started rubbing against his legs as though they were old friends (it took Sho a few moments to remember that Nino and Taro had already met). Actually, seeing Nino and Taro relaxing happily together was a confusing experience for Sho, as he wasn’t sure who to be more jealous of, as both men were obviously enjoying themselves without him.

Playing games with Nino was easy. Cooking with Nino was easy. Sex with Nino was easy, the sound of Nino’s voice as he moaned “Sho-chan” and the feel of his hands tickling his sides sending pleasurable shivers up and down Sho’s spine. 

It was easy to love Nino. But sometimes, being together with Nino was impossible. Being together seemed to be especially impossible roughly once a month. 

Nino continued to study with Ohno in an attempt to control his changes, and he and Sho fought about it—Sho didn’t think it was worth it for Nino to exhaust himself when he didn’t have to. 

But then when Nino _did_ change during the week of the full moon, Sho went slightly crazy. Usually Nino would disappear in the evening, and Sho would stay up all night, jumping to open the door in the morning when he heard a weak scratching, often finding a bruised Nino collapsed in front of the apartment. Then they fought about that (later, Sho caught Nino trying to put sleeping pills into Sho’s dinner on the day of the full moon. They had a _big_ fight about that, Nino claiming that he was trying to help Sho relax). 

Sho started following Nino when he changed; Nino growled at him and chased him away, then they spent the next day fighting about that. Regardless of even Ohno’s attempts to persuade him, Nino refused to believe that he wouldn’t be a danger to Sho in his wolf form. They fought about that a _lot_. 

In spite of the fighting, for about three months, things were manageable; Nino would usually return in the early morning looking exhausted but otherwise fine, and Sho would take care of him and help him recover. But then there was a month when Nino disappeared for three days, and Sho and Ohno had to search the city to find him, Ohno transforming into a wolf to better follow Nino’s scent. Ohno found Nino horribly beaten and sick in an abandoned house. After Nino recovered, he and Sho had their biggest fight yet. Sho mentioned an article he’d read about pet-owners getting GPS microchips installed in their pets so that they could find them in case they got lost; Nino told Sho to get a job and started throwing whichever of Sho’s possessions were closest out the window (the dramatic effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that they were on the ground floor).

Then Sho did something he’d never done during one of their fights—he left. Nino started following him, shouting, “You can’t leave me when I’m yelling at you, Sakurai-san!” from behind him. Sho broke into a run and heard Nino do the same. Their chase continued as far as the convenience store, where Ohno, having heard Nino’s cries of “Stop him!” from a block away, tackled Sho and held him down in front of the store until Nino arrived. Sho was furious and refused to speak to Nino, but he let Satoshi take him out for a drink.

He woke up the next morning with Nino sitting beside him in the soup aisle. “Okay,” Sho rasped, “we don’t have to do the GPS chip. And I’ll get a job. But in exchange, you have to move to the countryside with me. Wherever I decide is safest.” 

Nino raised a hand to cover his eyes and then burst into tears, wiping at his face furiously. “Okay,” he choked out through his tears as Sho grabbed him into a tight hug. “Okay, we can move, just don’t let go of me yet," he whispered.

Sho laughed, failing to hold back his own tears, “Then don’t let go of _me_ yet, duh.”

“Clean up in aisle five,” Satoshi intoned, using the mop to push the embracing pair out of his way.

 

* * *

 

After working out an agreement in which Nino would continue to manage the IT department from home—and carefully explaining to a tearful Aiba that Sho and Nino were moving to the countryside so that Nino would be able to run and play freely in the fields, and that Aiba could still come and visit him on weekends—Sho, Nino, and Taro moved to a village an hour away from the small town that Sho had grown up in as a child before his family had moved to the city. The village was mostly composed of farmers, their houses spread out, and Sho chose a house on the outskirts of the community. 

Because Nino didn’t have to appear at work when he was ill, the village remained unsuspicious of Nino’s secret. Now, Nino was able to travel far and wide through the mountains and forests during his change; he stopped looking sick, and (he eventually confessed to Sho) he’d actually begun to enjoy his time as a wolf; the air was cleaner, there were stars in the night sky, he could let go and run for miles, the scents he chased were more intense, and home was easier to find. He still occasionally got into fights with other animals, and sometimes he had to travel considerable distances naked to get back home. But for the most part, Nino’s condition began to feel less like a curse and more like a kind of adventure.

Having accepted Aiba’s offer of a formal career counseling session before they left, Sho followed Aiba’s suggestion and started giving piano lessons to local children (“I think what Sho-chan is really good at,” Aiba had concluded confidently, “is taking care of people. Have you ever thought about working with kids?”). Because the area was so sparsely populated, at first Sho had to spend a lot of time away from home giving lessons, but soon he was able to get work as a substitute, then as a part-time music teacher in his hometown elementary school. He’d always liked kids, but he was amazed to discover just how much he liked teaching them—he’d never, in a hundred years, have thought of himself as an elementary school teacher if it hadn’t been for Aiba’s suggestion. He started commuting to a local university, and within a few years had a degree in education and was able to get a full-time position as a third grade teacher. At home, he continued to play and compose, with Nino often joining in on his guitar in the evening (the two even occasionally gave performances in town). Life with Nino wasn’t easy or impossible; it was happy.

Of course, being together with Nino still involved some surprises. For instance, Sho hadn’t expected that Satoshi would also be moving to the country with them, and staying in their house until he found a job (as a janitor at the elementary school) and a place of his own (which ended up being the next house over). But Nino had simply assumed that Oh-chan would be joining them; the two of them shared a bond that Sho knew he couldn’t try to break even as it sometimes made him feel painfully jealous—there was a whole part of Nino’s life that he could never fully understand or share that Satoshi could. 

But more than jealous, Sho felt grateful for everything that Satoshi had done for Nino, and he was happy to have Satoshi as his closest friend (that didn’t stop him from being almost indecently relieved, however, when Ohno fell in love with and married the school’s kindergarten teacher, who had a slightly harder time dealing with the whole “werewolf thing” than Sho, but she had eventually come around. “I knew your lack of reaction was freakish,” was Nino’s comment).

On his first day as a managing executive at Android, Ltd., Sho could never have imagined that in five years, he wouldn’t be spending his days in a boardroom but in a third grade classroom, helping kids learn math with magic tricks and ending the day by leading a sing-along from the piano (this week they were singing “Rainbow,” original music and lyrics by Nino). 

_I guess it’s better to let life surprise you,_ Sho reflected later as he walked down the lane to their house. It was late spring, the weather warm but still chilly at night. When he arrived, he found Jun, Aiba, Taro, and Nino all out in the garden, where Aiba was trying to fasten strange-looking molds onto Nino’s carefully-planted vegetables, insisting that he could produce adorable star- and heart-shaped vegetables this way. Sho greeted Nino with a kiss on the forehead, and they held hands as they watched Aiba work, laughing as Jun finally grew frustrated by Aiba’s clumsy movements and knelt down to help him. 

Nino looked up at the sky, and Sho knew immediately what he was thinking of—tonight was the full moon. Usually Jun and Aiba wouldn’t visit during the week of the full moon, but this was the last chance they would have to visit for the next three months because of Jun’s schedule as company president; they’d agree to come for the weekend even though Nino wouldn’t be around once the moon came out. Nino squeezed Sho’s hand, “Jun still wants us to come to the city to record an album. He’ll probably want to talk about it with you tonight. You can decide for me.”

“Really?” Sho asked doubtfully. Nino almost never let Sho decide anything for him. Since accepting Sho’s condition that they move to wherever he decided, Nino seemed to have been trying to make up for his acquiescence for the past five years by rejecting all of Sho’s other suggestions, from what brand of toothpaste they buy to what they cook for dinner at night.

Nino smirked, knowing what Sho was thinking. “Yeah, really. For some reason, today I started thinking back on the last couple of years, and I realized that a lot of things with you can turn out well even when I’m not in control. Because I trust you,” Nino mumbled, “even if you’re still kind of an idiot,” he added hastily. Sho responded with a kiss. When they separated, it seemed that there was more that Nino wanted to say. He held onto the front of Sho’s shirt, “I just mean…thank you…thanks for…kind of…fixing me,” Nino looked up, his warm brown eyes meeting Sho’s own.

Sho shook his head, feeling his throat constrict and his heart start to race (as usual) when confronted with Nino’s unusually gentle gaze, “I think you’re the one who fixed me. If it weren’t for you, I think I would have turned into a zombie.” Nino grinned happily in response, hitting Sho lightly across the forehead.

When the moon came out a few hours later, Nino excused himself, and Sho, Aiba, and Jun spent the rest of the night comfortably talking (and drinking) about this and that (Satoshi was on a weekend trip with his wife and twin daughters). 

Eventually, Sho passed out on top of the covers of their empty bed (at least, it always felt empty when Nino wasn’t there), Taro jumping up to curl on top of his chest. Sho woke up around dawn to the familiar sound of Nino tapping at the window by the bed. Through the glass, Sho could see his pale figure shivering in the early morning light. Sho opened the window and took Nino in his arms to pull him over the ledge and into the bed, quickly piling up the covers over the both of them as Nino pressed himself into Sho’s side (Sho was unable to stop himself from flinching as Nino’s cold nose found his neck). Sho wrapped him in his arms and swung a leg over Nino’s, trying to warm him up while he gently stroked his nape. Taro settled himself at their feet. Sho felt Nino’s warm breath against his chest. “I’m home,” Nino breathed.

“Me too,” Sho replied.


End file.
